Deep Down I'm Still A ToysRus Kid!

Grow Up? Who, Me?? Not likely. At least not anytime soon. Sorry to say but growing up is right up there with getting old and neither one are in my immediate future. At least not if I can help it anyway.




Recently I was over at a buddy of mines house, a friend I haven't seen in about three years. We were hangin' out, BS'n about BS. You know, the usual. Inside the garage sat his recently purchased Harley Davidson, a bike he had wanted for quite some time. Needless to say I was super happy for him.


It's a sweet bike with all the accessories anybody could want. As I looked it over, one thing that really grabbed my attention was the license plate frame. I've been into Cars and Motorcycles of all types from as far back as I can remember so no doubt I could easily appreciate a bike as nice as this one. But for some reason it was the license plate frame that stood out the most.




At first it didn't strike me as all that odd. After all, during the last few years I'd seen this 'saying' plastered all over. Whether it be T~Shirts, Coffee Mugs, Window Stickers and yes, License Plate Frames, I've seen it everywhere. I'm sure most of you have as well.


As I mentioned, I've been involved with antique and collectible cars for quite awhile, mainly Woodies and you see tons of this stuff at all of the Woodie Events. The Woodie crowd spans quite a few generations, so no big surprises there. Never thought too much about it, one way or another.




Although as far as I'm concerned, I never really felt like I could relate to it. While I was fully aware of what it meant, I just never felt that it applied to me whatsoever. At least not in the same way that many others seem to be able to relate. Definitely not on my 'wavelength', that's for sure.


Not to sound too harsh but it's great for the 'older' crowd but surely no one from 'MY' generation would nor in my opinion should ever be caught displaying anything of this sort on their Woodie, let alone on their body or anywhere else. It's an ego booster of sorts for the older folks but not anybody my age.


Yet here I was, standing ten feet from my buddies Harley and there IT was, seemingly mocking me. Like staring into the blazing inferno known as the Sun, it hurt to look at it yet I found it nearly impossible to look away. It had me under it's spell and I couldn't figure out why. No flashing lights, no Disco Ball, nothing whatsoever to really draw ones attention to it. Yet there it was, proudly displayed for all to see. Only about five inches by about eight inches or so, not like a giant Billboard on the side of the freeway. Yet, judging by it's impact on me, it might as well have been. In small, one inch high letters, for all to see, it read "OLD GUYS RULE!" WTF???



I say proudly because he keeps his bike super clean and I'd be shocked if there was anything mounted anywhere on this bike the he didn't feel was a reflection of his personality. From the full fairing with lowers right back to the saddle bags, this baby was meant to be a comfortable ride and ride it he does.


Weird then how the first thought that popped into my head was that this must be his Dads bike. Only one problem, his Dad doesn't live in San Diego and he surely would never leave it at his sons house anyway. His Dad loves to ride, so he'd have his bike with him at all times. Nope, this HAS to be the Harley that I'd heard about him buying a few months ago. The one he picked out himself, his "Baby".



So, what gives? How in the hell could he have something like this on his cycle? If it wasn't meant to be there, perhaps from a previous owner or something of that sort, he sure as heck would have already taken it off and if I had anything to say about it, it would have gone straight in the trash.


After all, he's only a year or so older than I am. Matter of fact, we both graduated from High School the same year so I'm havin' all kinds of trouble wrapping my head around what I'm seeing. Who's out of touch with reality here, him or me?


While I openly admit I've always had 'trouble' with age, especially mine, this was definitely something I wasn't prepared for. Yes, as time goes by we all get older. But exactly when are you supposed to consider yourself an 'old guy'? I guess if someone is younger than you are, hopefully quite a few years younger than you are, then perhaps they can look at you as an 'old guy' but when you're the one calling yourself an old guy, that's when it gets weird. It does for me anyway.



Kinda like the first time somebody calls you 'Sir'. "Excuse me SIR." "Can I help you SIR?" "Right this way, SIR!" Talk about sending shivers up your spine. Not the warm 'n' fuzzy kind of tingles either. More like Edward Scissorhands relentlessly dragging his 'scissors' across a chalkboard. YIKES!!!


My mind raced, not knowing whether or not I should even bring it up. How on earth could he consider himself to be an old guy? I did my best to take into consideration the fact that at this point he must weigh over three hundred lbs. and perhaps the fact that he struggles to walk around, not to mention just getting up out of a chair is a workout, might have something to do with his feeling old. Not that I can run a four minute mile or that I go to the gym five days a week but in my opinion I still get around ok. Well, for an old guy anyway.



Could it be just a matter of numbers? At sixteen, you get your Drivers License. At eighteen you're allowed to vote. At twenty one you're FINALLY allowed to drink alcohol and at forty nine you're officially an Old Guy? Not cool, that's for sure.


You hear people say all the time that age is just a number and you're only as old as you feel. Now that I think about it, seems like it's always the older folks that say this, not the younger ones.


When it comes right down to it, I still feel like I'm twenty nine and in actuality, I say that mostly out of guilt because in reality I still feel like I'm twenty three. But it seems wrong for me to even say that. Kinda sounds like I'm being immature and not facing facts. Not facing the fact that I've seen forty nine Xmas', not twenty three.



OK then, who's out of touch here? Him for throwin' in the towel early and calling himself an 'old guy' or me for not allowing myself to face the reality that in todays world, I just might be an old guy too? Such a dilemma.


My Cousin just turned forty and it brought back a flood of memories, all the thoughts that had gone through my mind when I turned forty. No doubt she was a bit freaked out about it or at least I would imagine she was. Everybody builds it up to be such a major milestone in ones life that it's pretty much guaranteed to have a huge impact no matter how much you try to go with the flow.


Even though they say that forty is the new thirty, you can't help but wonder if all the so called 'fun' that you had in your twenties and thirties will now be replaced by a never ending downhill slide, grasping at anything you can hang on to before you slide off that huge cliff known as fifty on your way to that giant pit of quicksand known as sixty, slowly sinking your way down to your seventies and beyond. Well, let's hope you continue on anyway.



I've got news for her. As with everything else in life, perception plays a huge part in your outlook and more than ever before, attitude IS everything. It's entirely up to you. You can choose to be grateful for all you've seen, done and accomplished throughout your life or you can choose to wallow in the regrets from all you haven't. The choice is yours and no one elses. Choose wisely.


As for me, I'm doing my best to let go of my regrets. While I haven't come close to conquering this issue entirely, I've gotten much better at letting go and not continually beating myself up over the choices that I've made, both good and bad, throughout my life. After all, I surely can't change the past and to continue feeling guilty about it doesn't do me one bit of good. Again, I'm a work in progress.


One of my favorite sayings has always been "When all is said and done, the only regrets we'll have are the risks we didn't take" and it really helps me move forward. Not to say that as this pertains to dating and asking women out, I still tend to let the fear of rejection hinder me much more than I'd like it to but overall, I feel I've made great strides in this area as well.



I guess what it really boils down to is that he and I are both looking at our age from different vantage points. He's been working for the same Company pretty much his entire life and it's paid off in a big way. He's just about to take early retirement and really looking forward to it. Me on the other hand, I'm the flake that never really stuck with any job longer than I had to and therefore it looks like I'll be working for quite a few more years. Not that I wouldn't like to retire early, hit the EZ Button and just cruise through life from here on out but that's just not in the cards for me.


But I'd have to think that that might have some effect on his perspective on life. He's lived his life according to the basic 'schedule of life' set out by those that came before him. In fact, he did it so well that he's actually ahead of schedule and I can't help but give him tons of kudos for a job well done. Obviously I never could have pulled it off, it's just not 'me' to be one of the 'herd' so I give him all the credit in the world.


And maybe somewhere on this 'schedule', there's a certain date circled where you officially become an 'Old Guy'. Again, if there is such a date it's very apparent that I never got the memo. It's just as well because had I gotten the memo I surely would have torn it up and thrown it away anyway.


I've spent my entire life refusing to allow myself to get old. Marriage, kids, all those types of things were for old people. Definitely not for me. It's funny though, now that I'm at a point in my life that I'd love to get married and travel the world with my wife, my life partner, she's seemingly nowhere to be found. Apparently I waited too long. Guess I should have grown up just a little bit sooner.


But that doesn't mean I intend to allow myself to grow old. Nope, not me. In my opinion the minute you do that, the second you allow yourself to 'think' and to 'feel' that you're old, in essence you've given up and there's a rockin' chair in your immediate future. The way I see it, Fifty is the 'new' Thirty! Apparently deep down I'm still a ToysRus Kid because I just don't wanna grow up.



And if you EVER see me drivin' down the road with an Old Guys Rule license plate frame, feel free to call the Cops because at that point I'll more than likely have Alzheimers and I shouldn't be driving anyway.