Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Who Me? Give Up? Not Likely




OK, so I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'd like to think I'm smart enough to know when to give up, to throw in the towel so to speak. I mean, isn't there like some kind of a signal from above, some sort of a sign to let us know when it's time to bail?


Lately, well I really shouldn't say lately as this has been a situation that I've been struggling with for quite some time now. And no doubt I'm not the only one who battles this dilemma on a regular basis. Surely it's a question people have been asking themselves since the beginning of time. When is it ok to give up?




When is it finally ok to say to yourself, enough is enough, I'm done fighting this battle, there's just no way it's ever gonna happen, no possibility whatsoever of it ever coming true?


Now, when I say it, basically that could mean anything, from your hopes and dreams to your aspirations, your goals, anything in your life that you strive for. Anything that you're motivated about, anything you hope to accomplish.


Well, I for one am not so sure there is a certain point that defines the perfect time to give up. Nope, I don't think it's gonna be that easy. Wouldn't that be great if it were that cut 'n dry?




Oh heck yeah, it sure would. If everything in life had a time limit on it then you'd know when to say when, you'd know when you could just say enough is enough, pick up your toys and go home.



At least it would give you a point of reference to look forward to and your goals could be so much more manageable knowing that you only had to put in a certain amount of effort for a specified amount of time and whatever the results were, you would know that you did the best you could with the amount of time that you had available.


And after your time expired, you were in essence off the hook. Good, bad or otherwise, wherever you stood at that point was just going to be the way it is. Dang, that sounds easy doesn't it? How sweet would it be to have everything in your life mapped out for you like that?




But on the other hand, how boring it would be as well. Not that you'd know the exact outcome of everything in your future, but you'd have a pretty close guesstimate. And you could almost predict your future just by altering the amount of effort you put forth. Yep, BORING CENTRAL!

Well then, without an expiration date of sorts, how are we supposed to know when it's ok to quit trying? To let go of our dreams. Is there a certain amount of times that we have to be told "NO, you can't do this....can't have that.....can't date her.....", whatever the case may be? And if so, what gives someone else the authority to tell us that we can't anything?



Nope, I don't see that working either. If you're anything like me and absolutely hate to quit trying, at anything, then I'm sure you'll agree that the last thing you want is someone telling you what to do. Telling you basically when it's ok to officially become a failure. No thanks, not gonna work for me, that's for sure.



Sheesh, it sounds like quitting isn't gonna be as easy as everyone says it is. I mean, doesn't everybody say that quitting is the easy way out? That's the way I heard it anyway. I'm beginning to get the impression that they're completely wrong about it.


I also seem to recall hearing something about quitters being losers. Nobody wants to be referred to as a loser, do they? I would have to imagine that it wouldn't be a sought after title, that's for sure.




They only positive quote I've ever heard in regards to quitting was the often used and well worn "Sobriety is for quitters." I guess that's about one of the only times it's good to be a quitter. No doubt you could also include all of the other vices in the same sentence and they'd all make sense. But other than those few, being a quitter is nothing to be proud of.

Yet there must come a time that we have to face the music, read the writing on the wall and come to a point that we just have to stop trying. The intersection of lack of effort and giving up, that ugly as hell place known as failure. Correct?


I think, in fact I know that that's exactly where I have to say "No, I don't agree." For me failure is a huge problem, a bitter pill that I am unable to swallow, no matter what the situation.



Is it fear of looking like an idiot, a fool? That could be part of it, more than likely a huge part. But for me it's more of an inside thing. While it does bother me to have others see me as a failure of sorts, as someone that didn't accomplish their goals, it's ME that I'm truly concerned about. How will I feel about ME if I give up, if I quit trying. If I just don't give it my all and do my best.

I guess I've been out to prove something (not exactly sure what that something is) my entire life. My Father, in his attempts to get me to do my best tried to beat perseverance into me, one swing of the belt at a time but what he failed to realize was that being the best I could be was already ingrained in me from my first breath. I knew no different.



It wasn't anything that he had to instill in me, anything he had to force upon me, I wanted to, no, I needed to do my best. In every circumstance, in every situation. Sure, like any other kid, I was hoping for my Dads approval. Hoping to make Dad proud and also hoping for a miracle. The miracle of him saying "Good job son, I'm proud of you."

Of course, as I would come to learn, that wasn't gonna happen but that never stopped me from wanting to do my best. At everything I ever did. Not that I can honestly say that I always did my best but there's no doubt in my mind that I always wanted to.

Call it pride, or ego, or just plain being a perfectionist, any way you choose to look at it, I've always demanded the most out of myself. No doubt I'm my own worst critic. Noone can be any harder on me....than ME. That's why giving up isn't an option.



I also have someone very special watching over me from up above that would surely be disappointed in me if I ever gave up and there's just no way I ever want to let her down.

So where exactly does that leave me? If I can't give up, if I can't allow myself to quit, am I doomed to a life of never reaching my goals, never accomplishing what I want in life? Jeez, I sure hope not.

But at the same time, to just quit trying would surely mean that I would never realize my dreams. At least if I keep trying, there's a small, miniscule chance of good things happening. Sure, along with that chance comes loads of despair and disappointment but with that 1% possibility of something good happening in my life, something finally going my way, I'm unable to just take the hint and walk away.



One of my favorite sayings and to be honest, I'm not even sure it's an actual quote and if so, who even said it but it goes something like this. ~You can never ever give up because you don't know who or what is waiting for you just around the next corner.~

I think that quote says so much about perseverance, forging ahead in the face of adversity and just never giving up, NO MATTER WHAT! And with these words as my mantra I will continue to forge ahead, knowing that good things are waiting ahead for me. It's only a matter of time.





If you can relate to wanting to just give up at times or perhaps, like me, unable to know when it's ok to give up, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.




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