It's JUST A Key Ring

It's just another one of those dreaded must do things that we all have to go through, at least those of us lucky enough to own a car. Yep, it's time for another oil change. The little sticker up in the corner of the windshield, left there about three or four thousand miles ago by the previous oil changer, says I'm [over] due so it must be true.

Time to begin rearranging our schedules in an attempt to squeeze it in, somewhere between everything else we have to do during our hectic weekly routine.

Oh, somehow we'll fit it in, we always do. After all, we know that changing our cars engine oil is a big part of maintaining our vehicles and keeping our warranty in good standing. The penalty for not keeping up with proper maintenance could mean expensive repairs, beggin' for rides from friends and neighbors or even worse, waitin' for the Bus in the middle of summer! None of those are too appealing, to say the least.

Ok, so who's gonna be the lucky one to do the work? Some of us can do it ourselves. Warm it up, pull it into the garage [carport], jack it up and start draining the oil.

Careful though, that oil is HOT! And so is the oil filter, which should also be replaced. Then, after all that you're stuck with an old oil filter and about six or seven quarts of black goo that needs to go to the recycler.

That's if you aren't wearing half of it in your hair, down your arms and back or heaven forbid, didn't have a mini BP Gulf Disaster all over your garage floor and driveway.

Most of us have come to learn that all this mechanic'n stuff is better left to those with the proper facilities and tools to best handle such a task. Not to mention those that enjoy getting greasy.

Option #2, you can always go to one of those EZ Jiffy Quicky Pronto Lubification establishments. Surely they can handle the job. Only problem is that sometimes they tend to get you in the door with that giant teaser sign blowin' in the wind out front. "Today only, from 11am to 1pm, only $19.95 for an oil change, including 6 quarts of oil and filter. Does not include blah blah blah...." only to find out that it's gonna cost you about five times that much by the time they release your car.

< style="font-family:Verdana;"Sure, you have every right to be skeptical. Somehow you always get bitten by the fine print. That damn fine print. They make it so small that even a mouse with reading glasses couldn't read it.

Then, if you really want to embarass yourself, you'll get all gutsy and ask them exactly what the fine print says. It's not that you don't trust them, it's just that you want to know exactly what your options are.

"Oh, the fine print? All it says is that if your car takes an extra drop of oil to bring it up to the correct level, we won't add it. We won't put a new gasket on the drain plug when we reinstall it. Heck, we won't even guarantee that we WILL reinstall it. If your car happens to blow up just after you leave because our ASEBGFD nonCertified Mechanic forgot to put oil back in your engine after he drained it, we're not at all liable. Little insignificant stuff like that. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure none of that stuff will have any effect on you."

Jeez, that's alot to take into consideration. But knowing that none of that would ever actually happen in real life, you decide to go for it. Heck, everybody likes a good deal, just too hard to pass up. So you go ahead and sign on the dotted line, knowing you're in good hands.

Weird thing is is that just about the time you put the pen down, your car is being hoisted up on the rack! How on earth did they know you were going to give them the go ahead for the oil change?

Oh, these guys are slick! Absolute magicians I tell you. Hope they're as quick with the oil change as they were at getting the car hoisted up because I've got lot's of errands to run today.

With your car safely up on the rack, you can begin to relax a little. So you grab the latest [ok, 3 months old, greasy finger prints everywhere and every page wrinkled] issue of Slick 'n' EZ Oil Changer magazine off the dusty table and settle down into the greasy orange vinyl covered chair and begin to peruse all the latest news in the oil change industry.

KABLAM! What the hell was that? Startled, you peer out through the Customer Connection window and you see 'Sammy Certification' fishing around in the drain bucket in an attempt to retrieve the wrench that he just dropped.

Then, with a resounding GOT IT, you see that his arm is half covered in oil but thankfully he found the wrench. Good thing it wasn't the drain plug, that would have been much tougher to find. Like finding a needle in an oily as hell haystack, no fun at all.

Just as you turn your head back to the magazine, you hear a faint 'kerplunk'. NO, tell me that didn't just happen! Tell me it's not what I think it is. Tell me it's not my drain plug that just fell in the drain bucket.

Yep, you guessed it. As you return your focus to the oil change bay, you see both of the mechanics legs flailing around in the air. He's upside down in the bucket, scowering around in the bottom for your drain plug. I guess they never taught him about using a magnet on a retractable rod in ASEBGFD School.

FOUND IT!!! Just about everybody in the entire place jumped for joy at the same time. At this point we're all pretty much like family. We're all hoping that each of our experiences turns out to be a pleasant one.

Phew, glad that's over. I'd hate to imagine how much losing that drain plug would have cut into my errand running time. I can only hope the gasket is still attached, otherwise that could be a nightmare in itself.

Like a river of mud, the oil continues to blurble out of the oil pan. That's about the time I realize how glad I am that I'm not laying on the hot asphalt, changing the oil myself. Good thing I let the experts handle it. Ok, now I can get back to the magazine.

All of a sudden, this pimply faced kid in a bluish brown shirt peers around the corner of the doorway. My first thought is How can my car be ready so soon? My second thought is, it can't be ready that soon and so it's just about that time that I begin to hope and pray that he's looking for somebody else.

Nope, he's eyeballin' ME and I have a feelin' it's not gonna be good. Then comes the bad news. "Uh, Mr. Smith, while we were draining your oil we noticed a couple other items that require your immediate attention. Can you please follow me? I'd like to show you what we found."

"Jeez, I only came in for a cheap oil change, I never asked you guys to check anything else." "I realize that Mr. Smith but we feel it's our duty to inform all of our loyal customers of any pending danger related to their automobiles as we would never want anything to happen to them or their vehicles. Above all else, safety is our number one concern here at EZ Jiffy Quicky Pronto Lubrification Centers and it's in everyones best interest that we do all we can to keep our customers safe at all cost. I'm sure you understand."

"Huh, understand? You pretty much lost me at duty to inform. Ok, let's go take a look. I'm sure you're right, better safe than sorry. I mean, after all, how much extra could it be, right?"

Following the mechanic outside, the words 'at all cost' begin to swim around in my head. As far as I know, I'm the one that's going to be paying at all cost and no doubt that's in their best interest.

"Take a look here, you can see that your Muffler Bearings are completely shot. Heck they're almost falling off. And take a look right here, your Johnson Rod has a big ol' crack in it and it's just about to break! Boy, you're so lucky. You brought your car in just in time."

"What exactly are you pointing to, I just don't see anything wrong here? Matter of fact, I've never even heard of Muffler Bearings OR a Johnson Rod. Are you sure they're going bad?"

"Oh yes sir, trust me, they're going bad and you really should have them repaired right away to prevent any further damage to any other components that could possibly be interrelated to the damaged items that we previously mentioned"

"Alright, let's just say I did decide to have those fixed, how long would it take and even more importantly, how much extra is it gonna cost me?"

"Come on back inside and we'll run some numbers. Let's see here, new Muffler Bearings, click, click, click, new Johnson Rod, click click, click, about nine hours Labor, click, click, click, that leaves us with a guesstimate of about $1281.56, plus tax. Oh, and that's not including the $88.26 for the oil change. Keep in mind that this guesstimate is based on parts availability and those prices could go up dramatically if we find there have been any price increases that we are unaware of at the time of this guesstimate. Also, please remember to keep in mind that due to our high demand for quality, we only use Factory parts. We don't mess around with aftermarket parts here because as you know, safety is..."

"Yeah, Yeah, I KNOW! Safety is your thing! Got it! But that just seems outrageous for parts that I can't even see are wrong, let alone that I've never even heard of and I've been around cars for quite some time."

"Trust me Mr. Smith, we'd never steer you wrong. Get it? Steer You? That's just a bit of EZ Jiffy humor. We like to keep things light 'n' easy around here. There's more than enough stress in the world these days and the last thing we want to do is to add to it. Let's just hope we don't find anything else wrong with your car while we're under there [Yeah, let's hope...]. The good news is it looks like your Radiator Springs are ok for now. We can go ahead and wait until your next oil change to replace those."

Well, so much for the $19.95 oil change. And as far as the NEXT time, I don't think so.

Which pretty much leaves us with option #3, the local Dealership. Home of honesty, integrity, quality and a job well done. Sure, all this comes at a price but you're already aware of that going in.

Usually, along with that extra cost comes the comfort of knowing that the necessary extra repairs are truly legit [if you hear the words Muffler Bearings or Johnson Rod, get outta there fast!] and therefore it's ok to pay a bit extra for that peace of mind and satisfaction of a job well done.

Well, recently a friend of mine was in the position of having to make all these decisions and came away with a very surprising result. She knew I wasn't about to crawl under her car and change her oil so option #1 was crossed off the list immediately [I crossed it off myself].

Like most of us, she's already experienced option #2 so that was no longer a viable alternative. That leaves option #3 and so she made an appointment at her local Dealership. She had some work done there previously and while it was sorta expensive, she was satisfied with the job that was done and heck, they even washed her car for her. Out of all her choices, she felt it was her best option.

She arrived about 15 minutes early as she didn't want to miss her appointment. After standing around for about 20 minutes [so much for showing up early] she was finally approached by the Service Writer and asked for her information.

Her paperwork was filled out along with "Please pour yourself a coffee and have a seat in our waiting room, should only take about an hour." Made an appointment and still an hour for an oil change? Plus all the time waiting to get checked in. Oh well, at least it will be over with and done right.

About 15 minutes later a gentleman walks up with some paperwork in hand. Thinking to herself, done already, that's great, he proceeds to inform her of a recalled item on her car that should be fixed at this time. Free of charge and it won't take long.

"Ok, that's fine" she replies and continues to sip on her coffee. That's the beauty of being at the Dealership, they know about these things because their computer tells them about pending issues.

Time continues to tick by and another hour and a half later, her car is ready to go. Ok, so it took a little longer than expected and it costs a bit more in the long run than the other options but at least it comes with the satisfaction of a job well done.

"Ok, Ms. Jones [name changed to protect the innocent], please pay the Cashier and pick up your keys". Hmmm, $110.00 for an oil change? Wow, that seems like alot more than last time but maybe the cost of a barrel of oil has gone up that much.

Remember, peace of mind has to cost something and they did repair that recalled item at no charge[?] so let's just pay the Cashier and get outta here. "Thank you M'am, here are your keys and have a great day". Off she went to pick up her car in the waiting zone.

Just as she was about to turn the key to start her car, she noticed something was out of place. "My Key Ring, my special key ring, it's missing!" Now, the only reason she even noticed it was gone was because this was a gift from a friend and holds tremendous sentimental value to her.

Luckily she noticed it was missing before she left the Lot. Jumping out of her car, she headed for the Service Writers booth. "I want to see the Manager". Once paged, he showed up immediately to resolve the issue. Calmly he exclaimed, "Oh, I'm sure this can easily be explained. Somehow it must have fallen off. I'm sure we can find it for you."

Hmmm, it's been on there for over a year but somehow it fell off today and no one knows where it is? Amazingly enough, with the Manager jumping on the hot line, a few choice words over the loud speaker and Voila, it magically reappeared from the depths of the Dealership. Truly astounding, I think?

However, by this point the damage was already done. It wasn't the $25 key ring itself, it's the fact that the feeling of trust was gone. This put everything about the entire job into question.

What else did I have in the car that might be missing now? Sunglasses, change in the ashtray, did they really do all the work they said they did? OMG! Let the stress test begin!!

Needless to say, the Manager was very apologetic, even saying "The oil change is on the house and here's a coupon for half off on your next oil change. I truly am sorry this happened." Next oil change... here? I don't care if it's free, I don't think so.

That bond has been broken, which can't be repaired and all this over a key ring. Not that she was ever guaranteed to spend a fortune on repairs in the future but the point is now she will never spend another dollar there.

Surely she would not consider buying another car there and if a friend ever asked for her recommendation on where to have repairs done or perhaps even to purchase a car, she can at least tell them where NOT to go.

Word of mouth and positive [or negative] referrals carry a ton of weight in todays world as people are very leary about being taken advantage of and fearful of letting go of their money in any type of monetary transaction.

While this unfortunate incident can not be attributed to the Dealership itself, unfortunately the actions of one individual has put the entire Dealership and all who work there under suspicion.

At the very least, they have lost one customer but in actuality it is impossible to guesstimate the true repercussions. And while you might say c'mon now, it was just a key ring! You're right, It's Just A Key Ring....but it encompasses so much more.

If you've had any type of similar experiences, I'd enjoy hearing about them. I always appreciate your comments and if you enjoyed reading this post, please pass it along to your friends.