The Fine Line Between Prayer and Reality

Although this is a bit off the beaten path for my blogging, I have to admit that this is a topic that has struck a nerve with me and therefore, at the risk of offending, even losing a few of my beloved readers, I feel strongly enough about it that I'm going to voice my opinion. Take it or leave it, for better or worse and all that good stuff.

Politics and Religion, two topics that I know better than to even mess with. As they say, "Don't EVEN go there!" But, despite my better judgement, I'm goin' there.


A situation has come up recently regarding some unneighborly neighbors and their terrorizing of the neighborhood and the decent citizens that live within this neighborhood. Long story short, it's a household containing one worthless, grouchy ol' (in his 70s?) drunk, one 1960's psycho ex Flower Power hippie reject artist (his wife) and four sons of various degrees of drug/alcohol rehab and incarciration. Not exactly the typical Leave It To Beaver household.


No doubt many of you can relate to this group of misfits. Lots of these Walton families exist in every community throughout our wonderful nation. And each stands out more to their victims living close by than to those who never actually get to experience the pleasure of coming in contact with them.

Dealing first hand with this group of losers is always a gamble. You never know if the soft and friendly approach is best or not. While this will work in most everyday interactions with people that have an ounce of decency and any sort of semblance of respect for their neighbors, for others it may not. These are people that all want to live in harmony with their surroundings and the people that make up their neighborhood.

Then there are the others, the worthless idiots that couldn't care less about how what they do effects anyone or anything else around them. Yeah, real winners. I should say losers. That seems to be more appropriate. People that have nothing better to do than to make everyone elses life miserable. If they're gonna be miserable, might as well take everybody else down with 'em.

I hate to judge people based on what others have said about them. Not knowing the history of the previous encounters that lead them to their perceptions, I never like to pass judgement on someone based on another persons interactions. Like they say, there are two sides to every story.


While I must admit, the laundry list of evidence against this family has been longer than the list of incriminating evidence against O.J. but if you recall, he was found not guilty. And so I had to approach the situation with an open mind. I mean c'mon, can a family really be THIS bad? Apparently so.

Now while I myself had never had a previous run-in of any sort with these people, I guess that's mainly because I just wasn't around the situation enough to ever have to deal with it or them. I've been lucky enough to have a friend let me stay in his Cabin near the lake in exchange for some home and yard maintenance and so far, I've been up here about five weeks. Sweet deal to say the least. No doubt I'll end up with a blog post or two about my summer at the Lake.


As far as my opinion of the Hatfields (or is it the McCoys?) is concerned, everything changed for me yesterday and now I'm a convert, a true believer in what the others have said about him and his family. I found out for myself that this guy, the Leader of the pack, is a complete piece of shit!

Yep, them's strong words I know but in this case, not nearly strong enough. Every time I see him walk by with his Pit Bulls (nothing against Pit Bulls, I think they can be great dogs in the care of responsible pet owners, which these people clearly aren't. They continually let their dogs roam unleashed throughout the neighborhood, free to terrorize and poop wherever they please) I expect to hear a couple of banjos start to play (think Deliverance) and I immediately begin to hear Ned Beatty scream somewhere off in the distance.


This guy is the epitomy of one of those guys that lives wayyyyy back in the swamp, livin' off the land, zero education, a product of incest. Yikes, now I'm even scaring myself!

Supposedly he used to work for the Studios in Hollywood and his wife was an artist but right about now, I'm having a hard time believing any of that. I'm choosing to go with the 'Swamp Thing' scenario and as far as I'm concerned, he's havin' (or had) sexual relations with his sister.

My friends (the owners of the Cabin) and a few other friends from around the neighborhood were relaxing on the front porch the night of July 4th, telling stories and just generally BS'n' about all the fun we had enjoying the fireworks display that had just taken place. Watching all of the colors reflecting off the water, what seemed like a thousand boats floating out in the middle of this sea of colors, truly an amazing spectacle (more in another post).

Ok, I know sitting on the front porch, talkin' BS sounds a bit Hillbilly~ish as well but up here, the stars are so close you can almost reach up and touch 'em. It's so wonderful just to sit outside and star gaze. That is, of course, unless an idiot neighbor has his flood lights on. And so the real story begins.


Doing our best to enjoy the evening, we were relentlessly confronted by this glaring light and with the houses all built on different levels, this one particular light is right at eye level. No shroud around it, just a light that looks like it was bolted way up in a tree to shine down on his parking area. No problem or so you'd think.

Well, when you have an unshrouded light that casts shadows 300 yards away, THAT'S a problem! At least for everyone within 300 yards of it! There's a reason that they don't have overhead street lights up here, same as in the desert. It's to preserve the night sky. That's why people leave the city in an effort to see an eclipse or even just to enjoy the stars. When you live in a world full of light pollution, all you can see is the next McDonalds sign down the street.

And so my buddy, that owns this Cabin, went down to his house to talk to him about the light and a miracle occured, the light went out. Oh, how we all cheered. Suddenly you weren't in the City, you were back up in the mountains, at the lake, enjoying the night sky.


Well, that lasted about a day and then the light was back on. He even leaves it on during the day. Why, who knows. Maybe that's how they roll in the swamp. Come to think about it, maybe that's why he leaves it on all the time, they don't actually have electricity in the swamp and he's still enthralled by the magic of it all.

So yesterday morning, as he was roamin' the dogs without a leash I asked him if we could come to some sort of a compromise that would benefit him and all his neighbors (that he's buggin' the shit out of). I told him I'd even buy the shroud for it or a whole new light if I had to. Anything to try and stop the paint from peeling off the front of everybodys cabins from his glaring onslaught.


He was more than fine with it, even going so far as to tell me that he had a ladder I could use if I needed to get access that far up in the tree. I told him no problem, I'm glad to do what I can to save the summer nights. I knew I'd be heading back down the hill in the next few days and I'd stop by Home Dump and pick one up. Right on, problem solved. Or so I thought anyway.

I went over there to check it out last evening to see how I was gonna tackle it. Would I need a shroud or an entirely new light? Let's take a look. After a couple minutes, I decided might as well get a whole new light rather than try to half ass something on there. That way everybody's happy.


As I stroll back across the street, here comes this drunk ass lunatic, waving his flashlight at me, yelling at the top of his lungs, "HEY YOU, HEY YOU!" he knows my name but must have forgotten it in his drunken rage. Then the cussing starts. "'F' YOU, 'F' THEM (as he points his flashlight at all the neighbors houses), 'F' ALL YOU PEOPLE, I'M NOT CHANGING THAT LIGHT! 'F' YOU!!!"

So I reminded him that I said I was gonna take care of it. He wouldn't have to dig a coffee can out of the ground in his backyard for any coins. The light would just magically appear and everybody would be happy. He wasn't havin' none of that. He just kept on ranting and raving, screaming at the top of his lungs.

At first I thought he was joking, since he was totally on board with it six hours earlier but once I realized just how plastered he was, screaming at the top of his lungs at 10 o'clock at night, it began to dawn on me that this guy is just out of his mind.


He's a mentally challenged (pickled brain) worthless old man and the best thing to do would be to bite my tongue. I did my best to contain my laughter but based on what a fool he was making of himself, I admit to letting out a couple chuckles. Hey, I tried.

You could tell he wanted to hit me but without his Pit Bull or his psychotic sons to back him up, he didn't dare take a chance. I just stood there and let him go off. Like they say, you can't argue with an idiot and so I let him go on until he ran out of hot air, agreeing with everything he said.

As he stumbled out of the yard and down the street, I just kept hoping he'd fall flat on his face on the asphalt but damn it, no such luck. I'm a firm believer in Karma so I know he'll get his sooner or later, I just hope it's sooner than later. In fact, I can hardly wait!

As I contemplated the evenings festivities, one question continually popped into my head. What made him change his mind, from one second being all for it and the next, totally against it? Then it finally dawned on me. Earlier that afternoon, while he was roamin' his dogs, he saw that my neighbor, who despises him, was on the front steps and her and I were talking.


Both her and her husband are the nicest people on earth, big time church goers and they love everybody. Everybody except him and his family. Apparently the Hatfield and McCoy Family Feud has been going on for quite some time between them and it doesn't appear it's gonna end anytime soon.

As he walked by, she mentioned that one of his dogs had chased a friend of hers and boy, was he shocked to hear that (Yeah, right). He mumbled something about how "He's never seen the dog do THAT before" and continued on his way.

I think it was at that point that his sick paranoid mind began to take over and he realized that it was all a conspiracy against him. Oooohhh, what could we have been planning? First, it's the obnoxious overhead light, then it's the obnoxious dogs, then what, the obnoxious color of his truck? OMG, when will it all stop?


As the one remaining bent, rusty and squeaky wheel continued to spin at a snails pace inside his brain, he obviously went into panic mode. All these people, they're all against me, they all hate me and I can't understand why!!! So he did the only thing he knew how to do, GET HAMMERED!

He lives in a constant state of fear, fear that he's created all by himself. That's the reason behind the overhead light. He's afraid that someone's going to break into his truck and try to steal something or better yet, steal the entire truck. And if he has a light on, he'll be able to stop 'em.

Too bad the jackass doesn't realize that the only people that are going to do that are his own kids and they'll just take his keys while he's passed out on the couch, if they need to make a late night drug run. The light only makes it easier for them to see what's in the baggie they just brought home.


To give you an example of just how sweet his kids are, the only semi coherent one (brain fried by drugs & alcohol) came by a few weeks ago to say he hoped that his brothers hadn't been breaking in to all the houses close by, including this one, only the ones farther away (perhaps that's why I haven't seen the other three lately, they're in jail) and this is coming from a guy that went to jail himself for threatening to kill his parents (too bad he didn't follow through, like everything else in his life).

He's so paranoid of the exact nightmare that he himself has created. He's brought that Los Angeles Theft / Drug Ring mentality up to the mountains with him, which in actuality is pretty accurate since his family perpetuates it.


All this brings up the question, how do you deal with a psycho neighbor from hell? Hmmmm, good question. A friend brought up the fact that he's a miserable person (got that) and he's taking his misery out on those that surround him. Therefore, we should pray that he gets better.

That's all fine and dandy but prayers seem to take an awful long time to come to fruition and so what do we do in the mean time, in the REAL world? How do we deal with someone that is a constant threat to everyone he comes in contact with? Forcing everyone to live in fear of retaliation from him and his sons, never knowing if your home, your car, even yourself will be damaged at the hands of these lunatics.


Calling the Sheriff obviously won't do any good. They are on everybodys speed dial and they're here so often that they might as well set up a Sub Station. Hey, come to think of it, there's already a light set up so they can conduct their night operations without any problems.

So what are we left with? Do we really have any alternatives other than to just continue to live our lives in fear of retaliation? I guess we can start off by praying, hoping that someday he'll see the light, realize what a nightmare he's creating for so many others around him and all of a sudden become a courteous and conscienceous neighbor. Yeah, I agree, doesn't sound too likely but I guess there's always hope.


Or we could go with Plan B, which is to wait until he steps one foot on the property and then at that point the only decision will be whether or not he gets a single or a double barrel dose of reality. The choice is his to make.

If you can relate to havin' some crappy neighbors, I always appreciate your feedback whether it's positive or negative and if you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with your friends, whether on Facebook or Twitter, anywhere you hang out.

Say Bye Bye To The Bieber Bowl

Is it possible that there could actually be a hairstyle even worse than a Mullet? I'm sure you're all familiar with the Mullet, correct? You know the one, Business in the front, Party in the back? Yeah, THAT one.

Worn by some of the Souths best known hillbillies. In fact, one special billie comes to mind by the name of Billy Ray Cyrus. I'm not exactly sure if he comes from the South originally but I'd have to think he knows the Appalachians really well.

Another fine example of this all inclusive hair style is a gentleman who goes by the name of Dog The Bounty Hunter. He has taken the Mullet to places that few others have even dared to go. And don't bother telling him you're not a huge fan because if he doesn't arrest you, his wife sure will. I think he might be the Mayor of South Florida but I can't confirm this. I'll have to check with Kimbo Slice.


I'm sure most everyone would agree that it's not the most flattering look. On anyone. Eveb when it first became popular, I believe sometime back in the early 80's, only true good ol' boys, actual Lynrd Skynrd fans had the guts to even go there.

Perhaps the original intention was to provide a bit of protection for the back of the neck while out plowin' the 'back forty' but no doubt it evolved into the signature style for the true 80's Hair Band Head Bangin' Rocker.

For the most part, those days seem to be over (thank G*d) except for the occasional leftover loser that refuses to look in the mirror and deal with todays reality.

And while Kate Gosselin of 'Too Late For John & Kate Makin' More Than Eight' fame made a valiant attempt at putting a 'twist' on it and make it her trademark 'doo', luckily for us the "Reverse Mullet" never seemed to catch on.


While some might argue that the Mowhawk could possibly rank as the worst hair invention ever thought up, at least those rare few brave (or stupid) enough to actually wear one deserve a bit of credit.

At least in my opinion they do. I have to give props to people that aren't afraid to fly their Freedom Flag, drawing tons of (negative) attention to themselves and looking completely ridiculous while doing so.

Some people just crave attention, for better or for worse and are willing to do just about whatever it takes, tossing aside all signs of dignity and self respect in order to get it.


Now that doesn't include those idiots that are currently sporting the "Faux Hawk". I'm have to think that most of you have seen the goofballs that choose to go with this style. The noncommital type for sure.

They don't actually have the guts to trim the sides of their hair off into an actual Mowhawk so what they do is they take some hair gel and just sorta push their hair up from the sides, creating a sort of 'Psuedo Hawk'. Weak to say the least.

Reminiscent of a Donald Trump combover but with a bit of a twist. Rather than from the back in a sorta swirl like a cup of frozen yogurt, ala The Donald, these guys choose to just comb it up from the sides and the back, creating this Faux~Pas. Zero originality with a slight bit of scaredeycat thrown in.


Even the "Bed Head" trend was better than the Mullet. With just a hint of mystery, the Bed Header permeated a feeling of wonderment. Not just wondering if he has any idea how stupid he looks but more of being completely unaware of what happened the previous night.

Does he have any idea where he was when he woke up this morning, how he even got there or is it just the fact that he couldn't care less how he looks when he's out in public?


Which leads to others scratching their heads as well, wondering what could have happened last night. Did he unexpectedly spend the night at a strangers house? Was he drunk at a party and walked home? Woke up behind a dumpster? This style congers up all kinds of questions surely to go unanswered.



The possibilities are endless. But in reality, more than likely the Bed Header was just too damn lazy to take a shower, let alone comb his hair and is using a trend as an excuse.

A kissin' cousin of Bed Head look is the so called EMO look. I believe this is short for Emotional as all these guys look like they're always about to cry or even worse, about to kill themselves. I'm sure you've seen this one as well. Overgrown, zero style factor, generally unkept, greasy and gross with a big ol' swoop hangin' down over one (or both) eye(s). Needless to say, a real winner.

These aren't always the easiest to spot because most of these self made losers usually walk around (or slump around) wearing baggy, all black outfits and continually stare at the ground, giving off a terrible sort of 'Woe is me' type of vibe.


It's quite possible that these guys are derivitives of the Goth era. I'm not 100% sure about this but one thing that is for sure, they have loser written all over them.

Actually it's amazing how much can be said with a hairstyle. Both good and bad, so much of a persons perceived personality is reflected in their hairstyle.

Like it or not, that's just the way it is. Same as so much of ones opinion is based on the clothes they wear, their hair and how they choose to wear it is a big reflection on them.

Now let me be the first to say that I'm a firm believer in individuality and the ability of a person to express their personality in any way they see fit. But on the same token, when more than a couple people tell you that you look like a complete fool, perhaps it's time to reevaluate your thinking.


Even if you prefer to go completely against societys rules, nothing says you have to look like a moron doing it. Growing up, we all tend to rebel against authority in some way, shape or form. It's only natural. I did it, heck I'm sure everybody has done it at one time or another.


Your parents tell you not to do something and so naturally you push it until you find out just exactly how strongly they feel about it. You test their limits as long as you can until you get your ass spanked or you get grounded, whichever comes first. It's kinda like a tradition, one that's most likely been going on since the caveman days.

That doesn't make it right. That merely means that it's an age old right of passage. A phase of sorts but like all good things, it too must come to an end.



Eventually you're going to have to make a choice in whether or not to interact with society and if you choose to do so, then you're gonna have to make some sacrifices in order to fit in. That is of course unless you end up being a big time Rock Star and if that's the case, take the money and live life on your terms. More power to you.

But that's just about a one in a million plus occurence which means that most of us are gonna have to give in at some point. Like it or not, your clothes, hair style, mannerisms and the overall way you conduct yourself will all play a huge role in just how far you'll go in this world.


It wasn't until about three or four months ago that I noticed a disturbing new trend in hairstyles that really started to freak me out. Now you might be thinking that I'm referring to that f'n fruit loop from the U.K., Russel Brand. He's that metrosexual Freddie Mercury wannabe that thinks he's funny. Sorry Russ, we're laughing AT you, not with you.


I still have faith that most sane human beings would never wear a hair style that looks like Davey Crockets' Coonskin Cap (aka: dead raccoon) sitting on top of their head. At least I hope so anyway. Again, unless you're a Rock Star, which he's not.

Nope, I'm talking about that pretentious little egomaniac from the TV Show Million Dollar Listing. Not sure if you've ever watched this program but basically it centers around three trust fund babies with the good life basically handed to them.


As it turns out, they're Realtors in Los Angeles and in real life, none of them could ever get a Listing or sell a home but because it's TV, it's hard to know what to believe. You'd have to think that the only Clients that are dealing with them are people that want themselves or their homes to get some big time TV exposure.


One dweeb in particular has a hairdoo that looks like he bent down, hanging his head over an upside down lawnmower (while it was running!) and got his nose ever so close to the blade, allowing his hair to be trimmed right to the edge. No doubt not the safest of procedures.


Semi reminiscent of The Donalds combover but this is more of a comb forward. Kinda like he was wearing a motorcycle helmet and any hair that was still exposed beyond the edge of the helmet was cut off. No doubt it takes the 'Bowl Cut' to a completely different level.

When you add to it the fact that he's completely obsessed with his hair, and I mean OBSESSED, it just makes the whole thing that much harder to swallow.

Then when they focus in on all the people he's talking to and you can see the look of astonishment on their faces, asking themselves if this punk is actually real. You can tell that they're doing everything they can to not just fall on the ground laughing, knowing that they can never take this kid seriously. It's blatant that he's just an idiot. With or without the hair.


So you can imagine my surprise when I saw another kid with this same style of ridiculous hairdoo. My first thought was Noooo, not again!


Not exactly sure but this kid appeared to be in his early teens. I'm terrible with guessing age but it's gotta be somewhere around there. Definitely way too young to drive.


My second thought was "Poor kid, what the hell did your Mom do to your hair?" Like those people that dress their kids like the people they always wanted to be but never had the guts to actually be.

Or even worse, like those Moms that dress their kids like life size Barbie Dolls and enter them in those scary Pageants. Now THAT stuff really freaks me out but that's another Post entirely. I'll save that one for later.


Back to our story. This kid has been getting a bunch of exposure lately, both on TV and on YouTube. I'm not here to talk about his talent. No doubt he's got way more talent than I do so I give him tons of credit for getting out there and living his dream.

But therein lies the problem. I would think that his musical talent should stand out more than his hair but unfortunately for me I can stop wondering WTF happened. I'm not completely sure it was his Moms idea but one thing that IS for sure, he looks completely ridiculous.


No doubt you've seen or heard about him lately. He's been promoted on every morning show, among other places. His name is Justin Bieber and no doubt he's very talented for such a young kid. When I first saw him, he was on a morning show, singin' and playing the piano and no doubt he did really well.

Yet I found myself wondering how he was even able to see the piano keys because no doubt he couldn't hardly see anything with that haircut. Sort of like the EMO but with the added stupidity of the side bangs. Like a combover from hell, it's as if he copied the loser from Million Dollar Listings' style to the tee. Poor kid.


So it should come as no surprise to anyone that he walked straight into a glass revolving door a few weeks ago. Can't really blame him, he can't see past his bangs.

Then to add insult to injury, he ended up walking right into a giant glass wall just a few days after that. If that's not enough to tell you the poor kid can't see, I don't know what is.


Justins Mom, I'm pleading with you. Please end the trend before it ever gets started and somebody really gets hurt. The Beatles have been gone for quite some time, let's let the Bieber Bowl rest in peace as well.


There are just so many hairstyles out there to choose from I'd hate to see other kids being influenced by such ridiculous, not to mention dangerous haircuts. Use your imagination, think outside the box and I'll bet you'll be amazed what you can dream up.

I'd enjoy hearing your thoughts on todays trends in hairstyles and if you enjoyed this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd Tweet it or Share it with your friends on Facebook.

It's JUST A Key Ring

It's just another one of those dreaded must do things that we all have to go through, at least those of us lucky enough to own a car. Yep, it's time for another oil change. The little sticker up in the corner of the windshield, left there about three or four thousand miles ago by the previous oil changer, says I'm [over] due so it must be true.

Time to begin rearranging our schedules in an attempt to squeeze it in, somewhere between everything else we have to do during our hectic weekly routine.

Oh, somehow we'll fit it in, we always do. After all, we know that changing our cars engine oil is a big part of maintaining our vehicles and keeping our warranty in good standing. The penalty for not keeping up with proper maintenance could mean expensive repairs, beggin' for rides from friends and neighbors or even worse, waitin' for the Bus in the middle of summer! None of those are too appealing, to say the least.

Ok, so who's gonna be the lucky one to do the work? Some of us can do it ourselves. Warm it up, pull it into the garage [carport], jack it up and start draining the oil.

Careful though, that oil is HOT! And so is the oil filter, which should also be replaced. Then, after all that you're stuck with an old oil filter and about six or seven quarts of black goo that needs to go to the recycler.

That's if you aren't wearing half of it in your hair, down your arms and back or heaven forbid, didn't have a mini BP Gulf Disaster all over your garage floor and driveway.

Most of us have come to learn that all this mechanic'n stuff is better left to those with the proper facilities and tools to best handle such a task. Not to mention those that enjoy getting greasy.

Option #2, you can always go to one of those EZ Jiffy Quicky Pronto Lubification establishments. Surely they can handle the job. Only problem is that sometimes they tend to get you in the door with that giant teaser sign blowin' in the wind out front. "Today only, from 11am to 1pm, only $19.95 for an oil change, including 6 quarts of oil and filter. Does not include blah blah blah...." only to find out that it's gonna cost you about five times that much by the time they release your car.

< style="font-family:Verdana;"Sure, you have every right to be skeptical. Somehow you always get bitten by the fine print. That damn fine print. They make it so small that even a mouse with reading glasses couldn't read it.

Then, if you really want to embarass yourself, you'll get all gutsy and ask them exactly what the fine print says. It's not that you don't trust them, it's just that you want to know exactly what your options are.

"Oh, the fine print? All it says is that if your car takes an extra drop of oil to bring it up to the correct level, we won't add it. We won't put a new gasket on the drain plug when we reinstall it. Heck, we won't even guarantee that we WILL reinstall it. If your car happens to blow up just after you leave because our ASEBGFD nonCertified Mechanic forgot to put oil back in your engine after he drained it, we're not at all liable. Little insignificant stuff like that. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure none of that stuff will have any effect on you."

Jeez, that's alot to take into consideration. But knowing that none of that would ever actually happen in real life, you decide to go for it. Heck, everybody likes a good deal, just too hard to pass up. So you go ahead and sign on the dotted line, knowing you're in good hands.

Weird thing is is that just about the time you put the pen down, your car is being hoisted up on the rack! How on earth did they know you were going to give them the go ahead for the oil change?

Oh, these guys are slick! Absolute magicians I tell you. Hope they're as quick with the oil change as they were at getting the car hoisted up because I've got lot's of errands to run today.

With your car safely up on the rack, you can begin to relax a little. So you grab the latest [ok, 3 months old, greasy finger prints everywhere and every page wrinkled] issue of Slick 'n' EZ Oil Changer magazine off the dusty table and settle down into the greasy orange vinyl covered chair and begin to peruse all the latest news in the oil change industry.

KABLAM! What the hell was that? Startled, you peer out through the Customer Connection window and you see 'Sammy Certification' fishing around in the drain bucket in an attempt to retrieve the wrench that he just dropped.

Then, with a resounding GOT IT, you see that his arm is half covered in oil but thankfully he found the wrench. Good thing it wasn't the drain plug, that would have been much tougher to find. Like finding a needle in an oily as hell haystack, no fun at all.

Just as you turn your head back to the magazine, you hear a faint 'kerplunk'. NO, tell me that didn't just happen! Tell me it's not what I think it is. Tell me it's not my drain plug that just fell in the drain bucket.

Yep, you guessed it. As you return your focus to the oil change bay, you see both of the mechanics legs flailing around in the air. He's upside down in the bucket, scowering around in the bottom for your drain plug. I guess they never taught him about using a magnet on a retractable rod in ASEBGFD School.

FOUND IT!!! Just about everybody in the entire place jumped for joy at the same time. At this point we're all pretty much like family. We're all hoping that each of our experiences turns out to be a pleasant one.

Phew, glad that's over. I'd hate to imagine how much losing that drain plug would have cut into my errand running time. I can only hope the gasket is still attached, otherwise that could be a nightmare in itself.

Like a river of mud, the oil continues to blurble out of the oil pan. That's about the time I realize how glad I am that I'm not laying on the hot asphalt, changing the oil myself. Good thing I let the experts handle it. Ok, now I can get back to the magazine.

All of a sudden, this pimply faced kid in a bluish brown shirt peers around the corner of the doorway. My first thought is How can my car be ready so soon? My second thought is, it can't be ready that soon and so it's just about that time that I begin to hope and pray that he's looking for somebody else.

Nope, he's eyeballin' ME and I have a feelin' it's not gonna be good. Then comes the bad news. "Uh, Mr. Smith, while we were draining your oil we noticed a couple other items that require your immediate attention. Can you please follow me? I'd like to show you what we found."

"Jeez, I only came in for a cheap oil change, I never asked you guys to check anything else." "I realize that Mr. Smith but we feel it's our duty to inform all of our loyal customers of any pending danger related to their automobiles as we would never want anything to happen to them or their vehicles. Above all else, safety is our number one concern here at EZ Jiffy Quicky Pronto Lubrification Centers and it's in everyones best interest that we do all we can to keep our customers safe at all cost. I'm sure you understand."

"Huh, understand? You pretty much lost me at duty to inform. Ok, let's go take a look. I'm sure you're right, better safe than sorry. I mean, after all, how much extra could it be, right?"

Following the mechanic outside, the words 'at all cost' begin to swim around in my head. As far as I know, I'm the one that's going to be paying at all cost and no doubt that's in their best interest.

"Take a look here, you can see that your Muffler Bearings are completely shot. Heck they're almost falling off. And take a look right here, your Johnson Rod has a big ol' crack in it and it's just about to break! Boy, you're so lucky. You brought your car in just in time."

"What exactly are you pointing to, I just don't see anything wrong here? Matter of fact, I've never even heard of Muffler Bearings OR a Johnson Rod. Are you sure they're going bad?"

"Oh yes sir, trust me, they're going bad and you really should have them repaired right away to prevent any further damage to any other components that could possibly be interrelated to the damaged items that we previously mentioned"

"Alright, let's just say I did decide to have those fixed, how long would it take and even more importantly, how much extra is it gonna cost me?"

"Come on back inside and we'll run some numbers. Let's see here, new Muffler Bearings, click, click, click, new Johnson Rod, click click, click, about nine hours Labor, click, click, click, that leaves us with a guesstimate of about $1281.56, plus tax. Oh, and that's not including the $88.26 for the oil change. Keep in mind that this guesstimate is based on parts availability and those prices could go up dramatically if we find there have been any price increases that we are unaware of at the time of this guesstimate. Also, please remember to keep in mind that due to our high demand for quality, we only use Factory parts. We don't mess around with aftermarket parts here because as you know, safety is..."

"Yeah, Yeah, I KNOW! Safety is your thing! Got it! But that just seems outrageous for parts that I can't even see are wrong, let alone that I've never even heard of and I've been around cars for quite some time."

"Trust me Mr. Smith, we'd never steer you wrong. Get it? Steer You? That's just a bit of EZ Jiffy humor. We like to keep things light 'n' easy around here. There's more than enough stress in the world these days and the last thing we want to do is to add to it. Let's just hope we don't find anything else wrong with your car while we're under there [Yeah, let's hope...]. The good news is it looks like your Radiator Springs are ok for now. We can go ahead and wait until your next oil change to replace those."

Well, so much for the $19.95 oil change. And as far as the NEXT time, I don't think so.

Which pretty much leaves us with option #3, the local Dealership. Home of honesty, integrity, quality and a job well done. Sure, all this comes at a price but you're already aware of that going in.

Usually, along with that extra cost comes the comfort of knowing that the necessary extra repairs are truly legit [if you hear the words Muffler Bearings or Johnson Rod, get outta there fast!] and therefore it's ok to pay a bit extra for that peace of mind and satisfaction of a job well done.

Well, recently a friend of mine was in the position of having to make all these decisions and came away with a very surprising result. She knew I wasn't about to crawl under her car and change her oil so option #1 was crossed off the list immediately [I crossed it off myself].

Like most of us, she's already experienced option #2 so that was no longer a viable alternative. That leaves option #3 and so she made an appointment at her local Dealership. She had some work done there previously and while it was sorta expensive, she was satisfied with the job that was done and heck, they even washed her car for her. Out of all her choices, she felt it was her best option.

She arrived about 15 minutes early as she didn't want to miss her appointment. After standing around for about 20 minutes [so much for showing up early] she was finally approached by the Service Writer and asked for her information.

Her paperwork was filled out along with "Please pour yourself a coffee and have a seat in our waiting room, should only take about an hour." Made an appointment and still an hour for an oil change? Plus all the time waiting to get checked in. Oh well, at least it will be over with and done right.

About 15 minutes later a gentleman walks up with some paperwork in hand. Thinking to herself, done already, that's great, he proceeds to inform her of a recalled item on her car that should be fixed at this time. Free of charge and it won't take long.

"Ok, that's fine" she replies and continues to sip on her coffee. That's the beauty of being at the Dealership, they know about these things because their computer tells them about pending issues.

Time continues to tick by and another hour and a half later, her car is ready to go. Ok, so it took a little longer than expected and it costs a bit more in the long run than the other options but at least it comes with the satisfaction of a job well done.

"Ok, Ms. Jones [name changed to protect the innocent], please pay the Cashier and pick up your keys". Hmmm, $110.00 for an oil change? Wow, that seems like alot more than last time but maybe the cost of a barrel of oil has gone up that much.

Remember, peace of mind has to cost something and they did repair that recalled item at no charge[?] so let's just pay the Cashier and get outta here. "Thank you M'am, here are your keys and have a great day". Off she went to pick up her car in the waiting zone.

Just as she was about to turn the key to start her car, she noticed something was out of place. "My Key Ring, my special key ring, it's missing!" Now, the only reason she even noticed it was gone was because this was a gift from a friend and holds tremendous sentimental value to her.

Luckily she noticed it was missing before she left the Lot. Jumping out of her car, she headed for the Service Writers booth. "I want to see the Manager". Once paged, he showed up immediately to resolve the issue. Calmly he exclaimed, "Oh, I'm sure this can easily be explained. Somehow it must have fallen off. I'm sure we can find it for you."

Hmmm, it's been on there for over a year but somehow it fell off today and no one knows where it is? Amazingly enough, with the Manager jumping on the hot line, a few choice words over the loud speaker and Voila, it magically reappeared from the depths of the Dealership. Truly astounding, I think?

However, by this point the damage was already done. It wasn't the $25 key ring itself, it's the fact that the feeling of trust was gone. This put everything about the entire job into question.

What else did I have in the car that might be missing now? Sunglasses, change in the ashtray, did they really do all the work they said they did? OMG! Let the stress test begin!!

Needless to say, the Manager was very apologetic, even saying "The oil change is on the house and here's a coupon for half off on your next oil change. I truly am sorry this happened." Next oil change... here? I don't care if it's free, I don't think so.

That bond has been broken, which can't be repaired and all this over a key ring. Not that she was ever guaranteed to spend a fortune on repairs in the future but the point is now she will never spend another dollar there.

Surely she would not consider buying another car there and if a friend ever asked for her recommendation on where to have repairs done or perhaps even to purchase a car, she can at least tell them where NOT to go.

Word of mouth and positive [or negative] referrals carry a ton of weight in todays world as people are very leary about being taken advantage of and fearful of letting go of their money in any type of monetary transaction.

While this unfortunate incident can not be attributed to the Dealership itself, unfortunately the actions of one individual has put the entire Dealership and all who work there under suspicion.

At the very least, they have lost one customer but in actuality it is impossible to guesstimate the true repercussions. And while you might say c'mon now, it was just a key ring! You're right, It's Just A Key Ring....but it encompasses so much more.

If you've had any type of similar experiences, I'd enjoy hearing about them. I always appreciate your comments and if you enjoyed reading this post, please pass it along to your friends.