Steppin' WAY Outside the Zone!

Wikipedia defines "Comfort Zone" as: The comfort zone is a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.



The comfort zone refers to the set of environments and behaviours with which somebody is comfortable, without creating a sense of risk. A person's personality can be described by his or her comfort zones.



Highly successful persons may routinely step outside their comfort zones, to accomplish what they wish. A comfort zone is a type of mental conditioning that causes a person to create and operate mental boundaries. Such boundaries create an unfounded sense of security. Like inertia, a person who has established a comfort zone in a particular axis of his or her life, will tend to stay within that zone without stepping outside of it. To step outside a person's comfort zone, they must experiment with new and different behaviours, and then experience the new and different responses that then occur within their environment.



Phew, that's a mouthful! I think that basically what they're saying is that it's a self imposed safety zone of sorts, a place where nothing can go wrong in your life. A place where you can just kick back, let the world go by and nothing can hurt you.



A place where nothing ever goes wrong, every day is full of blue skies and sunshine. Well, I've got some news for you, it's full of lots of other stuff as well. And some of it not so good.




Like boredom, depression, mediocrity, laziness, basically business as usual. Nothin out of the ordinary, ever! In essence, the home of status quo. Basically BO~RING but safe. Safe from harm. Safe from risk. Safe....from...well, from experiencing life. Sounds like tons o' fun, huh? NOT!



I'm sure most of you know your own Comfort Zones very well, you've lived there your entire lives.You know exactly what to expect, no surprises there, that's for sure. No surprises, for better....or for worse.




I say for worse because last I heard, life was meant to be experienced. In all ways. Be it people, places or things, each and every new adventure entails some amount of risk. After all, it wouldn't be an adventure if you knew what was going to happen beforehand. But if not for that risk, I don't think it would be considered an adventure.



"Adventure" is defined as: An activity that is perceived to involve risks, danger or exciting experiences.




In essence, life is an adventure. No matter how much we plan out our day, very rarely, if ever does it go according to plan. In fact, it usually doesn't take very long before something happens to send your entire day off on a completely different path. One in which you had never even bothered to consider.



This is where your Comfort Zone comes into play because it's decision time. You're going to have to make a decision about something and chances are, it's gonna mean the difference between layin' low in your Comfort Zone or risking it all and venturing out to a brave new world, a new civilization, a place where more than likely you've never gone before.



We've all heard that saying, No Risk, No Reward or the similar version, Big Risk, Big Reward. Either way, along with the possible reward comes the inherent danger of making a mistake. Making a fool of yourself. Basically looking like an idiot and nobody likes that.



No one wants to come across as an idiot. Therefore, if you stay in your Zone, you're for the most part idiot proof. But your life isn't gonna be a whole lotta fun, that's for sure. You're definitely not gonna get the most out of each and every day, which kinda makes you look like an idiot anyway, for wasting your life. Sort of a Catch 22.



Keep in mind that this last statement is more or less directed at me. Yep, I find myself hidin' in my own Zone far too often for my own good but hell, it's so comfy and cozy, so downright safe in there, can you blame me? It gives me the warm 'n fuzzies just thinkin' about how nice it is in there.



Even though I know damn well I'll never get anywhere in life without taking risks, by just stayin' comfy, for some reason it seems to be my default place to hang out. If I don't wanna take a chance on makin' a fool of myself, I just duck down and let the world (life) fly by. No harm, no foul. Just keep everything status quo and you're good to go.



Then all of a sudden, it dawns on you. Your life totally sucks! Same ol', same ol', day in and day out. Can you imagine if every freeway, every street, every road you ever traveled was straight and flat?



No uphills, no downhills, no left or right turns, nothing but straight and flat for as far as the eye could see. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? And so it is with life in your Zone.



Even though I've done my best to be more conscious of hiding in my own Zone as of late, I still find myself getting caught in my own trap. My fluffy, danger free trap. I know it's not a good place to hang out and I've been doin'my best to break free of my old habits and venture out to the land of the unknown. The world outside my Comfort Zone.



Now, there are only so many opportunities that present themselves, affording you the possibility of steppin' out of your Zone. Besides those that you create yourself.



And you surely can't map out your plan of attack ahead of time because you have absolutely no idea what it is you're going to be reacting to. Let alone what your reaction would be even if you did know ahead of time.



This scenario played out in living color for me on Friday night. My buddy showed up just before dark and so we hauled butt down to the Dock to enjoy the end of a beautiful lakeside day. Once darkness set in, it was time to think about dinner.



Neither of us wanted the hassle, let alone the time required to cook anything and while there aren't many choices up here, there is a cool Mexican Restaurant that serves great food and since I just happen to love good food, we locked up the Dockhouse and we were on our way.



Things can get kinda crowded there on the weekends but it was after the dinner hour and so lucky us, no wait. The Hostess grabbed a couple menus and began escorting us to our table. She approached a small table in an open area, which I didn't much care for but we were both hungry and so it was fine.



As we got closer to the table, she hesitated, spotted another table and we continued on to our new destination. This was a booth, much easier to spread your food around so I was stoked. But I had no idea just how stoked I was gonna be.



Directly in my line of sight, about three tables away, sat the woman of my dreams. My first thought was how lucky I was (and to top it off, on a non fave day, Friday 13th) that we didn't get stuck at that first table. I never would have seen her, unless I caught a glimpse as she walked out.



Immediately things turned into one of those out of body experiences, like when you're dreaming and you're floating above your body, watching yourself from outside yourself. I can faintly remember my buddy talkin' but again, I really couldn't hear him.



It's no wonder I'm single, I have a certain type that I'm really attracted to and as much as I try and tell myself I'm not, there are certain physical characteristics that just spark for me. And this woman had 'em, that's for sure. I think that everyone has a different vision of beauty and thankfully, everyone is built differently.



I don't think that my idea of beauty is the universally accepted vision in everyones mind. Definitely not the type that the Media says is Americas Most Beautiful. The natural, girl next door does it for me. My dream woman might go completely unnoticed to someone else and vice versa but all I can say is if I could have ordered a woman out of a catalog, she is pretty much who I would have ordered.



And that's the only reason I even contemplated leaving my Comfort Zone for a split second. I'm not a Serial Dater, I've had my heart broken so many times that I don't even bother anymore unless I feel very strongly about a woman, unless I think there's a possibility of a long term relationship. Why go through all that heartache for no reason.



But this woman triggered something in me that had me mesmerized. My mind was racing, should I, shouldn't I? Should I walk over to her table and say Hi? Should I just sit here and stare at her (not good), not saying a word? With so many thoughts spinning through my head, I still couldn't hear anything my buddy was saying.




Since we had left the Cabin so quickly, I just threw on some basic clothes, never grabbed my wallet or anything else. It never dawned on me we'd be havin' dinner out. So this left me without any way of leaving her my contact info.



So, I had to ask myself, is that a hint of reality bringing me to my senses or is that just an excuse to give up and sit here, in my Zone?





Back and forth, back and forth, 'round 'n around in my head, all these should I's or shouldn't I's flew around like a Kansas tornado for what seemed like 10 hours but since the waitress just returned to take our order, it was probably more like 10 minutes. It's funny how time flys when you're havin' an out of body experience.



Glancing at the waitress' apron full of pens, that did it. I asked if I could borrow a pen and she also offered a piece of paper from her tablet. I'm not so sure that if she knew I was stalkin' one of her customers, she would have been so accomodating with the writing equipment but that's neither here nor there.




What was important is that I finally had a way to leave her my info. I could still hear my buddy talkin' (no idea what he was sayin') as I wrote down my info. and as I recall, it was mid sentence when I got up from the table and walked over to introduce myself.




I finally decided that there was absolutely ZERO chance that she would ever contact me if I didn't approach her but my odds went way up to about One in a Million (ok, One in a Trillion) chance that she would contact me if I left my digits.




So I literally jumped up, leavin my Comfort Zone so far behind me, I couldn't even see it anymore and I trembled my way over to her table. I had no game plan, no idea what I was gonna say, no pick up line to lay on her, no preparation whatsoever. All I knew was that I HAD to do this or I would regret it forever.




Her and her friend were both surprised that some goofball would walk all the way across a restaurant (this wasn't some Meat Market pickup place or a Bar) in the middle of their meal to introduce himself. I really have no idea what I even said, besides Hello and shaking her hand which was pretty easy since my entire body was shaking so much.



Surprisingly, it went pretty well (I think) for such a completely awkward experience. I mean, at least they didn't break out in sheer hysterics until they finished their meal and were completely out of sight. I wobbled my way back to the table and tried to catch my breath. Talk about a harrowing experience, this was so far out of my Zone that I completely forgot I even had a Zone.




Of course, all through the meal, I kept thinkin' of things I should have said, should have done to make the whole thing go better and to make the possibility of her contacting me drop from a Trillion to One way down to a Billion to One. But at that point, it was too late. There was no going back over there, she was gone.





All the woulda coulda shouldas in the world didn't matter at that point. All I had was her first name and a basic idea what part of So. Cal. she lived in. That was it. Just as fast as she entered my life (or I invaded hers, whichever way you wanna look at it), she was gone. Like two ships passing in the night, she sailed off to waters unknown and I pretty much ran into an iceberg and friggin' sank!



One other strange thing that happened, as I sat back down at the booth, I noticed something shiny under the table. Thinking it might be a spoon or something, I reached down to pick it up and it turned out to be a coin. I couldn't see it at first (kinda dark under there) but it was semi heavy and about the size of a silver dollar. So I thought to myself, cool, I found a silver dollar to remember this occasion by.





I like old coins so I was anxious to see the date on it. Turns out it's some kinda coin from Panama, unknown denomination, with a picture of Balboa the Explorer on it. Needless to say, monetarily it's worth about zero but as a reminder of a very special occasion, an important life lesson, it's priceless.



So as we finished our meal, my buddy kept talkin' (I think) and I kept wishin' I would have done a few things differently. It's always easier the second time, which got me to thinkin' that even though there was maybe a One in a Million (ok, One in a Trillion) chance of her ever making contact, I know if and when something like this happens again, I'll be much more prepared and have a better idea of what I'll do.



I'm also happy to know that I was intrigued enough by a woman to forget about my heart (and my ego), even for a split second and just risk it all by making a complete fool of myself.





I only know of one other woman that has ever enthused me nearly as much (in fact, with her it's even more than this), enough to lay it ALL on the line (TWICE!), my heart on the chopping block so it was good to know that I could be excited enough by a woman to take a chance like this again.



As I mentioned earlier, I've had enough heartache to last me two lifetimes and so I'm in no hurry to have it happen again. But I'm super stoked, very proud of myself that I didn't let that stop me, I stepped out of my Zone, took a huge chance on pursuing my dreams, regardless of whatever it is I stood to lose.



Will I ever get to see her again? I hate to sound negative but being realistic, I'd have to say no. Did I take away a huge lesson from all this? You better believe I did. I learned that one can leave their Comfort Zone, step insanely far outside it and still survive. I may not have won the prize....but I didn't die from it either. In fact, I learned a few things, so overall I'd have to say it was a good experience.



So if I can pass anything along to someone else that might feel trapped, stuck in their own Zone, it's that any time you take a chance, on anything, there is gonna be a certain amount of risk but I'm still here, alive and kickin', to tell you that you're not gonna die from it and if you're lucky like me, you just might learn a thing or two. Who knows, you could end up with your own reward.




If you can relate to hidin' in your own Comfort Zone, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.

Who's This PRINCE CHARMING Dude Anyway?

How on earth am I supposed to compete? Compete against some kinda Fantasy Frog. I mean, to be honest, it's just not fair. I mean, this dude has set the bar so high, I'm not sure anybody can even come close to jumping it, let alone even touching it with their fingertips.

Oh yeah, we've all heard of him. Good ol' P.C., Prince Daddy, the Fantasy Dude formerly known as Prince, The Princemeister, all meant to signify that most mysterious of guys, Prince Charming.





None of us have actually seen this guy in real life but yet he strikes fear in the hearts and minds of men all over the world. Well, at least in America. I'm not 100% sure they've heard of him in other Countries but I guess it's possible. I mean, they could have a Le Prince Charming, an El Prince de Charming, The Prince of Charmingtown, Herr Prinze Charmengg, you get my drift.


From Bouncers to Bounty Hunters, Machinists to Mailmen, Roofers to Restauranteurs, all of them begin to shake inside at the mere mention of his name. Heck, I'll bet that even Chuck Liddell, if you could get him to admit it, would say that the Prince of Charmingville is competition for him as well.



I mean c'mon, how can this be? How can we as a species be so intimidated by some dude that rides around town on a white horse, wearing tights and a cape?

Batman can get away with a cape. Superman can get away with a cape. These guys are bad asses that make mince meat outta bad guys. But I'm sure you'll agree that the only guy good ol' P.C. could actually take down might be Elton John. And that's still a maybe, no guarantees.



Now he might be able to stomp you with his horse but he better stay on that horse, if he knows what's good for him because I'd have to think that at this point, there are plenty of guys that would love to take him down.

Tons of guys that were never able to live up to the standards that he set oh so long ago. He didn't just raise the bar, he set it so high that no mere human can even get near it. At least no human that I've ever heard of.



Which, when you think about it, is kinda crazy. Nobody really knows much about him, other than the fact that upon being kissed, he turns from some funky frog into a guy that all women fantasize about. Now THAT my friends....is magic.

Better than any magic that either David Copperfield OR David Blaine could ever dream up. No smoke 'n mirrors here, no way. This Prince is fully legit. Well, at least as legit as a fantasy can be anyway.



I hadn't even thought about this guy in forever, completely off my radar. That is until I received an email from a friend of mine a short while ago. I hadn't heard from her in quite some time and I'm not afraid to admit that I almost hit my head on the ceiling, jumping for joy at the sight of her message. To say that I was happy to hear from her is an understatement, I was ecstatic.

As I perused her message (for the 1000th time), two words began to stand out, as if they were highlighted in yellow and I could feel my heartbeat begin to pick up the pace. I thought it was merely the excitement I was feeling, hearing from her after all that time.



But no, I began to realize it was more than that. It was the friggin' Prince that was makin' me all nervous. How do I live up to the standards he's set? I don't actually have any idea what those standards are but I have a pretty good feeling they're not easily attainable. At least not in this world anyway.

Kinda makes you wonder if each woman sets her own bar for her Prince? After all, it's her fantasy, she should be able to create a dream dude of her own making. And if so, how in the hell are you ever gonna figure out who or what she really wants in a guy? Jeez, talk about the Rubics Cube from Unattainableville, no way you're even gonna come close to solving that riddle. Don't even bother to try. It ain't gonna happen.



So I guess when it comes right down to it, even though us guys would love to be able to fulfill all of those fantasies, there's just no way that's gonna happen and so all we can really do.... is be ourselves.

I know, boring huh? That's not to say that we can't entertain her with fantasies of our own making. Hopefully some of them will resonate with her. Who knows, perhaps we might even share some of the same fantasies? How cool would THAT be?



But we really have no other option. We'd have to be mind readers to even attempt to come close to figuring out what women want and the split second we look away from our Crystal Ball, you guessed it, they will have changed their minds and it's time to start guessing all over again. Talk about a no win situation.

All we can do is give kudos to the Prince, the magnificent Prince Charming as he truly is the guy that all of us men wish we were. The guy that every woman wants and waits her entire life to find.



If you can relate to battling against the Prince, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, please share it with your friends.

Attraction.... Either It's THERE....Or It Isn't

Attraction: A force that, exerted between or among bodies, tends to make them approach each other or prevents their separating.

Sounds so simple but in reality it's anything but. It's a natural feeling, a trait that all of us posess, the ability to be attracted by and to other things, living or otherwise.



Whether it be people, places, things, it really doesn't matter what it is. We are all different and as such, we are attracted to different things. Thankfully the world is full of so many exciting and wonderful things to keep us occupied for all of eternity.


On the other side of that endless supply of attraction is a trade off of sorts. As we all know, right along side attraction comes desire. That's when it gets to be a bit more difficult. Difficult to not let that attraction for whatever it might be get ahold of us, driving us straight down the road to misery merely because we can't obtain whatever it is we are attracted to, that thing (or things) we desire.


This isn't to say that attraction and desire can't be good things because they surely can be. They give us purpose, drive, motivation, all of those reasons that we need to pursue our goals, to chase after our WHY. Ah yes, our why.





Why do we get up in the morning? Why do we bother to get out of bed? Why do we go to work and struggle through all of lifes trials and tribulations? Why do we continue to ride this roller coaster of highs 'n lows? If we don't have a why, we're pretty much not going to get very far in life....if anywhere at all.


Our why can also be the basis for our goals. Without our goals, how would we ever find a direction, a path in which to begin our journey? Why would we even bother? If there wasn't anything waiting for us at the end of the rainbow, nothing to achieve, no fuel for our passion, then why even get started. Might as well lay around on the couch all day, doin' nothin'.


Motivation is also affected by attraction. If we are attracted to something (or someone) we're much more likely to go after it, to take risks, to go out on a limb to make it happen. Yes, motivation plays a huge part in what we achieve in life and again, without it, tons of couch time is sure to be in our future.




I also believe that the Law of Attraction plays a huge part in our lives. While some of you might think it's just Mumbo Jumbo, I firmly believe that if you put your effort into thinking positively about what it is you really want out of life rather than concentrating on all the negative stuff you don't want, your life can and will be changed for the better.

Sure, there's a pretty good chance that a naked Genie isn't gonna pop out of a Lamp any time soon but that's not to say that some good things aren't bound to come your way. Along with good thoughts, some form of action is also required to make any positive changes in your life but the combination of those two can and will pay huge dividends in your future.



Why not give it a shot? After all, what have you really got to lose anyway? I can't think of anyone that couldn't use a bit more good stuff happening in their lives. Even the wealthiest people on earth want more out of life. That's what keeps them motivated, driven to succeed. They all have a why that drives them to do more, to be more, to live more.


Attraction is also a huge force in our relationships, those that we've been in, are currently in and those that we would like to be in. After all, what else motivates us to even think about risking our most precious resource, our hearts, in such a way? If we aren't attracted to someone, why take a chance on having our hearts stepped on, mangled and thrown away like a worthless piece of nothing? Way too risky, wouldn't you agree?



And knowing this all too well, Match just happens to throw some bait our way, telling us "It's ok to look", knowing damn well that we're gonna look! And once we look, we're pretty much screwed at that point. That's when good ol' attraction kicks in and we see someone we want to know better. And then it's on!


All the inner turmoil begins, the angst, the anxiety, all the questions start brewing in our minds and in our hearts. Should we take it to the next level and contact this person? Lay our hearts on the line? What if they reject us? Even worse, what if they don't respond at all? Damn attraction! Gets us every time.

While some people find it's enough for them just to be wanted, to be needed by someone, I myself find that it's even more difficult to find a connection that is mutual. A connection to where both of us feel the same about each other.



While I might not be the greatest catch in the world, I'm surely not the worst either. I mean, have you heard about our overcrowded Prison system? Ok then, there's gotta be someone in there that's not as dateable as I am. HA!

And so I feel that it's my decision as to whom I choose to pursue. I truly believe that attraction HAS to be mutual. I think deep down inside we all want someone to desire us and want to be with us as much as we want to be with them. Nothing wrong with that at all.


And I also believe that attraction can't be manufactured, either it's there or it isn't but it it's not up to us to decide. Like happiness, it's an inside job and so the Universe is just gonna have to take care of it.



Whether we want to admit it or not, I truly believe that the initial spark as it were has to be there right from the start. We all want butterflies and to a certain degree, we can hope that a caterpillar will eventually do its thing and blossom into a wonderful winged creature, fluttering inside our tummies but still there are no guarantees.


No guarantees that we'll ever find that mutual attraction. Does it mean that we should settle for less than we want out of a relationship? Should we just give up? In my opinion, hell no! I think that the minute you settle for less, less than what you want, less than what you deserve, you will always be disappointed.



We all want to be loved, it's only natural and I for one believe that we were never put on this earth to be alone. And it's attraction that will keep us moving forward on our quest, our quest to find our Life Partner, our Soulmate as it were.


So thankfully, attraction is just there, like a built in GPS. A part of our being, part of our Soul, a driving force within us because without it, we'd surely be lost.



If you have any thoughts on attraction that you'd like to share, I'd enjoy hearing about them and if you enjoyed this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.

Has It Been Four Years Already? Time Really DOES Fly

OK, so it took me four years. Four long and sometimes miserable years but I think I finally get it. I finally understand. Understand that I might have actually made a good decision for once in my life. The day I decided to jump on the wagon.

The day finally arrived that I came to my senses and decided to give it all up. Life as I knew it, this life of hell was officially gonna be over. No doubt it's been a long road since then, an extremely long road and what makes it even worse is the fact that I've basically just begun my journey. My Journey To Sobriety.




Filled with all kinds of peaks and valleys. Mountains that would seemingly make Everest envious and lows that would make Death Valley a cool place to hang out in the summer. No doubt a Roller Coaster that isn't meant for the weak and timid. Heck no, only the truly hard core need to buy a ticket for this ride.



Unfortunatley the highs of the mountains weren't actually a good thing. They were neverending uphill stretches where each switchback would fool you into thinkin' that you were almost there, only to find out that just around the bend was another hill twice as steep as the last.

Next thing you know, you've reached a plateau of sorts, seemingly allowing you to relax a bit, perhaps even let your guard down, take it easy for awhile. Short lived, this rest stop turns out to be filled with angst and indecision, not a place you really wanna hang out and so off your go again, off to trudge more unexplored highways and byways.



Both of which can be dangerous. Whether under your feet or in your mind, these Highways To Hell can surely eat you alive, if you let them. And more often than not, the choice isn't yours. Staying busy mentally can be but isn't always a good thing.


Sometimes your mind can start racing so fast that there's no way possible to slow it down. All the woulda coulda shouldas start flyin' through your brain, an endless stream of confusion, hitting you like a machine gone. No way to stop it, you can only sit there and take the self imposed barrage until the bullets run out. For now anyway.



I say for now because you never have any idea when and for how long this will go on. What you do know is it's gonna be a Roller Coaster ride from hell and all you can do is hang on, ride it out, hands tucked under your thighs, doin' your best to stop shakin' and just praying for it to be over. And not a minute too soon.

Eventually it does end but you have no idea for how long. Your first inclination is to do anything possible to stop your mind. To put an end to all this stinkin' thinkin'. To turn it off, to shut it down. At least for a while. Just long enough to stop this train from fallin' off the tracks. But you know how it is. As soon as you tell yourself not to think about something, you're instantly thinking about it....and nothing else.

Even though you continue to say don't, you do. "Get the 'F' outta my head!" you hear yourself scream.... but to no avail. It's still there, like that relentless caged hamster on the wheel, no way to make it stop. Eventually it does though, when you finally pass out from sheer exhaustion.



Of course the opposite of this stressful stretch are the days and nights where time seemingly stands still. Forward one second, backwards two seconds, forward two seconds, backwards three seconds and so on and so on it goes. Like time has basically stopped and all you're doing is drowning in a sea of failure and regret. Yeah, it's a wonderful feeling. NOT!

All you can do is just pray for the day to end so that you can finally go to sleep. Counting every second until darkness takes over the sky and hoping you'll be tired enough to where your mind will finally just give up and you can fall asleep.

Only problem is, your brain never got the Memo and so it continues to twist and turn inside your head with no signs whatsoever of slowing down, let alone stopping. How you ended up with a brain battery stronger than the Energizer Bunny's is a mystery to you but regardless, there's no signs of sleep in your immediate future and so you just lay there and suffer through the Civilian Ridealong.

That's when it dawns on you and you have to ask yourself how in the hell you ever got to sleep before, back in the good ol' days? Back when you were drinkin'. I mean, with all this crap runnin' through your mind, night after night, how did you ever manage to shut it off long enough to finally pass out?



Oh, that's right. That's exactly what I did. I partied 'till I eventually passed out. THAT'S how I was able to sleep. Well, if you could call it sleep anyway. Basically it was more like random hours of various stages of incoherency throughout the night, ending in the horrific buzzing of the alarm clock saying "Wake up, time to get ready for work!"

Head pounding, your first thought is what can I use for an excuse to get outta work this time? But then it dawns on you. If you take a day off work, that would mean less pay and even worse, you'd probably have to work a half day on Saturday which would totally kill your Friday night fun. Besides that, the fact that you couldn't sleep in on Saturday morning would also be a drag.

So get out of bed you must...and you do. After a couple of snooze buttons of course. By this time you're runnin' late, scramblin' to get out the door. As you run down the stairs to get to your car, the dizzy haze kinda kicks in and for a second you have to ask yourself where you parked.



Locating your car(luckily), you're on your way to work and at this point, you're glad you got outta bed and didn't bother makin' up some lie to get out of having to show up. That way you still have an excuse for a time when you REALLY need to get out of goin' to work.

After all, you're not feelin' near as hungover as you thought you would and you know for sure there's gonna be another time when you really feel like crap and HAVE to take the day off. I mean c'mon, it's inevitable, right? Right.

Weird thing is, for some reason you seemed to have felt much better when you first woke up but apparently all this movement you've been doin' all morning has kinda stirred things up again. And not in a good way.



It's not like you recaught that same wonderful buzz you had last night. Oh Hell No! This is like the Evil Twin of last nights festivities. Last night was all fun, full of joy and laughter (at least from what you think you can remember) but today is full of nausea, throbbin' headache and the feelin' that something in your stomach wants to see the light of day all over again.

This is not good at all....and it's only gonna get worse. Worse because you just realized that it's only 8:30 and you still have to get through the entire day. At this point all you can do is concentrate on your lunch break. Maybe a half hour of laying down will save you.



Well, you can hope so anyway. At least it's something else to concentrate on besides the bongos banging around inside your head. Why on earth didn't you bring a bucket 'o aspirin to work with you? Oh yeah, you didn't feel like this when you first woke up. Hmmm, maybe you were still buzzin' after all.

One thing's for sure, it's gonna be a very long day ahead. Why do you continue to do this to yourself? When will you ever learn? Apparently not anytime soon, that's for sure because just about the time you leave work for the day, you're already scowering your wallet to see if you have enough money to stop by the Beach Market on the way home to grab a sixer'.



All the bad feelings that you began your day with, just a distant memory at this point. You were sure that you wouldn't be drinking again for quite some time and yet, here you are mapping out your stops on the drive home. Oh, they better have your brand on the shelf because if for some reason they're sold out, then you're gonna have to do tons more drivin' before you can get your fix.

I can already feel the stress level boiling up as I sit here and type this. And I don't even drink any more! Jeez, how did I ever live that life for as long as I did? All that stress, that misery, daily. No wonder I drank. I guess it was an attempt to make the hell of drinking go away. Talk about a vicious cycle.


Thankfully I'm no longer wobbling down that path. Nope, not me. I'm on a completely different journey now and after 1,463 days (not that I'm counting), one thing's for certain, it's way too late to turn back now.



The cool thing is though, I don't want to turn around and go back to the life I used to live. No friggin' thanks. The best part is that not too long ago I wouldn't have been able to say that but I think I'm finally beginning to realize that stopping all of that ridiculous behavior was actually a smart move.



Maybe when you get to the point that the bright light that continues to shine in your eyes has changed from a Freight Train barreling down on you into ALL the beautiful lights that shine upon the Land Of Opportunity. A place where you can have anything, do anything, be anything you ever wanted, ever dreamed of.


Who'd a thought that the life I was living just four short years ago, a life I lived for many many years is finally changing from memories of misery to an actual learning experience, allowing me to grow from them and to expand my horizons.



Perhaps someday I will be able to look back on all of those years I consider to be time wasted and turn them around into being lessons that I can help others learn from. Wouldn't that be wonderful? To help others avoid a life of misery and regret. That would truly make it all worth it.

And so I'll continue to count the days, the days until I reach Lucky #5, five years in the Total Sobriety Society. I can only imagine how much wisdom I will have gained at that point. Wisdom that I can share with others. Can't wait!



If you find yourself in a similar situation, can relate to this tale in any way, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you liked this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.