Exactly Where DOES Motivation Come From?

Motivate: To provide with a motive. Motive: A conscious or unconscious need, drive, etc., that incites a person to some action or behavior; incentive; goal. Ok, that's all fine and dandy. Basically, if you break it down, Motivation is the required ingredient needed to get ones butt in gear! At least that's my take on it anyway.



Without motivation, nothing is gonna happen. Nothing is gonna change. No moving forward....with ANYTHING. Without it, you're pretty much screwed! Looks like lots of couch time is in your future, that's for sure. So where can you go to get some of this motivation stuff?





It's not like they have a huge chain of stores, like a Motivation Depot, MotivationMart or perhaps a MotivationRus kinda thing. Nope, it ain't gonna be that easy. Hell, if motivation was that easy to find, everybody would have it. Jeez, how cool would that be, to see everybody flyin' around, bein' productive, gettin' stuff accomplished, livin' their dreams? Pretty cool, I'd say.



Nope, this is even harder to find than a Crack Dealer on a Detroit street corner. Oh, come to think of it, just about anything is harder to find than Crack in Detroit. Bad analogy. How about harder to find than a $2 Hooker in Detroit? Jeez, that might not be so hard to find either. Anyway, forget the analogies. let's just leave it at motivation can be friggin' hard to find. How's that?





So what do you do if your Tank~O~Moto is empty? Are you just plain outta luck? Do you just give up, pack it in and call it over and done? No doubt that's not the way to go. If we all did that, they'd have to start making tons of new couches for everybody to lay around on.




Hey, wait a minute. All those couches would require businesses to manufacture them, which would require employees to run the machines that build the couches, which would require more employees to run the Stores that sell the couches, next thing you know, the Economy is jammin'! Holy crap, I just invented a new Stimulus Package!



Only one problem. This is only stimulating the population to lay around and not do anything. And lazy people hate to be stimulated into doing anything. That would basically cancel all the plans for those people on Welfair. So I guess that's not such a good thing after all. Bummer, thought I was really on to something for a minute there.





Ok then, so exactly how & where are we gonna find us some of that good stuff? That oh so elusive elixur, that missing ingredient from lifes recipe, some motivation because without it, we can't even begin to cook.




When it comes right down to it, looks like we're gonna have to make our own. Yep, we're gonna have to find it....somewhere....somehow.....no matter the cost. Without it, we're surely doomed to a life of misery and so it's imperative that we do whatever it takes, WHATEVER IT TAKES to find some motivation!




Why not try goal setting? Yeah, that's it. If we set goals, in order to achieve them we are gonna need some motivation. So is this to say that goals create motivation? Not in a direct way but they are intertwined. Without motivation of some sort it would be very difficult to reach any goal that you have set for yourself.



But what is it that creates our goals? Is it our dreams? Possibly. Our dreams help to propel us forward towards the things that we want out of life. Whether it be material, spiritual or otherwise, I think most would agree that just about everything in life begins with a dream.





Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Yes, I truly believe that so much in life is created by our dreams. Our dreams create hope, giving us the passion necessary to move forward towards achieving our goals, in essence giving us our motivation. Our motivation to strive for more. More out of life. More out of ourselves.

Don't be afraid to dream....because without your dreams....you have nothing.



If you have any thoughts regarding dreams, goals, motivation, anything of the sort, I'd enjoy hearing about them and if you liked this Post, please share it with your friends.

Who's This PRINCE CHARMING Dude Anyway?

How on earth am I supposed to compete? Compete against some kinda Fantasy Frog. I mean, to be honest, it's just not fair. I mean, this dude has set the bar so high, I'm not sure anybody can even come close to jumping it, let alone even touching it with their fingertips.

Oh yeah, we've all heard of him. Good ol' P.C., Prince Daddy, the Fantasy Dude formerly known as Prince, The Princemeister, all meant to signify that most mysterious of guys, Prince Charming.





None of us have actually seen this guy in real life but yet he strikes fear in the hearts and minds of men all over the world. Well, at least in America. I'm not 100% sure they've heard of him in other Countries but I guess it's possible. I mean, they could have a Le Prince Charming, an El Prince de Charming, The Prince of Charmingtown, Herr Prinze Charmengg, you get my drift.


From Bouncers to Bounty Hunters, Machinists to Mailmen, Roofers to Restauranteurs, all of them begin to shake inside at the mere mention of his name. Heck, I'll bet that even Chuck Liddell, if you could get him to admit it, would say that the Prince of Charmingville is competition for him as well.



I mean c'mon, how can this be? How can we as a species be so intimidated by some dude that rides around town on a white horse, wearing tights and a cape?

Batman can get away with a cape. Superman can get away with a cape. These guys are bad asses that make mince meat outta bad guys. But I'm sure you'll agree that the only guy good ol' P.C. could actually take down might be Elton John. And that's still a maybe, no guarantees.



Now he might be able to stomp you with his horse but he better stay on that horse, if he knows what's good for him because I'd have to think that at this point, there are plenty of guys that would love to take him down.

Tons of guys that were never able to live up to the standards that he set oh so long ago. He didn't just raise the bar, he set it so high that no mere human can even get near it. At least no human that I've ever heard of.



Which, when you think about it, is kinda crazy. Nobody really knows much about him, other than the fact that upon being kissed, he turns from some funky frog into a guy that all women fantasize about. Now THAT my friends....is magic.

Better than any magic that either David Copperfield OR David Blaine could ever dream up. No smoke 'n mirrors here, no way. This Prince is fully legit. Well, at least as legit as a fantasy can be anyway.



I hadn't even thought about this guy in forever, completely off my radar. That is until I received an email from a friend of mine a short while ago. I hadn't heard from her in quite some time and I'm not afraid to admit that I almost hit my head on the ceiling, jumping for joy at the sight of her message. To say that I was happy to hear from her is an understatement, I was ecstatic.

As I perused her message (for the 1000th time), two words began to stand out, as if they were highlighted in yellow and I could feel my heartbeat begin to pick up the pace. I thought it was merely the excitement I was feeling, hearing from her after all that time.



But no, I began to realize it was more than that. It was the friggin' Prince that was makin' me all nervous. How do I live up to the standards he's set? I don't actually have any idea what those standards are but I have a pretty good feeling they're not easily attainable. At least not in this world anyway.

Kinda makes you wonder if each woman sets her own bar for her Prince? After all, it's her fantasy, she should be able to create a dream dude of her own making. And if so, how in the hell are you ever gonna figure out who or what she really wants in a guy? Jeez, talk about the Rubics Cube from Unattainableville, no way you're even gonna come close to solving that riddle. Don't even bother to try. It ain't gonna happen.



So I guess when it comes right down to it, even though us guys would love to be able to fulfill all of those fantasies, there's just no way that's gonna happen and so all we can really do.... is be ourselves.

I know, boring huh? That's not to say that we can't entertain her with fantasies of our own making. Hopefully some of them will resonate with her. Who knows, perhaps we might even share some of the same fantasies? How cool would THAT be?



But we really have no other option. We'd have to be mind readers to even attempt to come close to figuring out what women want and the split second we look away from our Crystal Ball, you guessed it, they will have changed their minds and it's time to start guessing all over again. Talk about a no win situation.

All we can do is give kudos to the Prince, the magnificent Prince Charming as he truly is the guy that all of us men wish we were. The guy that every woman wants and waits her entire life to find.



If you can relate to battling against the Prince, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you enjoyed this Post, please share it with your friends.

Good vs Bad....What Do Women REALLY Want?

Good Guys vs Bad Boys. That age ol' battle, more than likely since the beginning of time. What type of men are most women attracted to?

Firstly, let me just start off by saying that I fully understand that this is a dangerous topic and while some might wonder why the heck I'm even goin' there, those that know me and are familiar with my writing know all to well that I'm pretty much fearless when it comes to tackling subjects that others simply refuse to. In essence, I'm the go there guy. Despite my better judgement.



As I mentioned earlier, I'd have to think that this has been going on since women were able to make a choice on their own as far as who they wanted to be with. Good or Bad, Good or Bad, oh Mom, which guy should I choose???

This might not have applied in the Caveman days as it seems to me that when a first date consists of a guy draggin' a woman by her hair, into his cave and havin' his way with her, that would basically put ALL guys in the Bad Boy category.



And perhaps this was also the case in the days of the Roman Empire. Not sure women had much choice back then either. I wouldn't think that Good Guys had much luck as being nice probably got you thrown in with the lions or at the very least, you ended up breakin' rocks until your arms and legs were yanked from your body as you were being pulled apart by two separate Chariots, headin' in two different directions. Not good to be a Good Guy in those days, that's for sure.




The women, if they did happen to take a chance on speaking up in regards to who it was they wanted to date, would more than likely have had their heads chopped off before they could even get the words out. Probably a good idea just to keep ones mouth shut, or forever hold your head....ooops, your peace.

Even in the days of the Kings 'n Queens in jolly ol' England, not really a good idea to speak your mind, let alone having a Bumper Sticker on ones Pumpkin saying something along the lines of "Good Guys Rule!" because at the very least, you'd be scrubbin' floors and cleanin' Chamber Pots as your evil step sisters were out carousing with all the Bad Boys in town.



A womans only hope was to be born into a wealthy family but even then, they still didn't have much of a choice as these were the days of the arranged marriages and as such, they would end up with Lord Goofball III by default. So these weren't so much choices as stuck withs. Ahhh, the good ol' days.

Jeez, up until now I hadn't really put all this together but maybe women have been ingrained to want Bad Boys, whether that's what they really want or not. Maybe they just can't help themselves?


Is it a matter of going against what they're told to want, as in their elders telling them to watch out for the Bad Boys as they will treat them badly, abuse them and then leave them? And so they have no other choice but to go against the grain in an attempt to find out for themselves if what they were told is actually true? Hmmmmm...... I wonder.



Or is it them thinkin' that this time is gonna be different? Somehow this guy will love them so much that the guy will do whatever it takes to make her happy and if changing his evil ways is what it's gonna take to get her to stay, then so be it. Like somehow they're gonna fix him.



Good luck with that one. As we all know, people in general, especially guys (of which I'm one) rarely if ever change. Especially not for someone else, let alone for themselves. Sure, we all grow in one way or another and we attempt to better ourselves but not many will change for someone else. At least not their entire moral outlook, their entire character. I'd have to think that we're pretty much us from the time we become adults.

So why is it then that you see so many women with Bad Boys? Do they think it's cool? Do they like the feeling of doing something wrong and gettin' away with it? To be honest, I have no idea. No idea whatsoever. It seems like they always complain about gettin' treated like crap. And then they go back to them. Go figure.




I'd like to think I'm from the other side of the tracks. I'd have to consider myself to be one of those idiots....ooops, I mean one of the Good Guys. You know the type, the guys that finish last! Yep, that's us.

Oh sure, women say that they want nice guys but I've yet to see anything to prove this theory to be true. Could it be the lack of drama? The missing daily controversy? The fact that all nice guys wanna do is treat their partners right, to get along?



Hell, where's the excitement in that? Sounds kinda boring, doesn't it? I mean, without all the drama, the constant fighting and bickering, what's left in a relationship?



All you end up with is love. Pure, unrelenting, selfless, love and devotion and who the hell wants to live a life as drama free as that? Well, for starters, I do. Yep, to me, drama and controversy suck. There's enough stress in life without having to add to it in a relationship. I don't do drama. No thanks, not my cup of green tea.

I'd much rather spend my time being happy, laughing and enjoying life. After all, isn't that what life is really all about? I sure think so anyway.



So I guess we'll just have to leave this as an open ended question, an unsolved mystery. Good or Bad, I have no idea what women really want. Which is probably a good thing because there's a pretty good chance I'm not gonna reinvent myself as someone else. At least not anytime soon.

If you have any thoughts in regards to the battle between good and bad, I'd enjoy hearing them and if you liked this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.

Attraction.... Either It's THERE....Or It Isn't

Attraction: A force that, exerted between or among bodies, tends to make them approach each other or prevents their separating.

Sounds so simple but in reality it's anything but. It's a natural feeling, a trait that all of us posess, the ability to be attracted by and to other things, living or otherwise.



Whether it be people, places, things, it really doesn't matter what it is. We are all different and as such, we are attracted to different things. Thankfully the world is full of so many exciting and wonderful things to keep us occupied for all of eternity.


On the other side of that endless supply of attraction is a trade off of sorts. As we all know, right along side attraction comes desire. That's when it gets to be a bit more difficult. Difficult to not let that attraction for whatever it might be get ahold of us, driving us straight down the road to misery merely because we can't obtain whatever it is we are attracted to, that thing (or things) we desire.


This isn't to say that attraction and desire can't be good things because they surely can be. They give us purpose, drive, motivation, all of those reasons that we need to pursue our goals, to chase after our WHY. Ah yes, our why.





Why do we get up in the morning? Why do we bother to get out of bed? Why do we go to work and struggle through all of lifes trials and tribulations? Why do we continue to ride this roller coaster of highs 'n lows? If we don't have a why, we're pretty much not going to get very far in life....if anywhere at all.


Our why can also be the basis for our goals. Without our goals, how would we ever find a direction, a path in which to begin our journey? Why would we even bother? If there wasn't anything waiting for us at the end of the rainbow, nothing to achieve, no fuel for our passion, then why even get started. Might as well lay around on the couch all day, doin' nothin'.


Motivation is also affected by attraction. If we are attracted to something (or someone) we're much more likely to go after it, to take risks, to go out on a limb to make it happen. Yes, motivation plays a huge part in what we achieve in life and again, without it, tons of couch time is sure to be in our future.




I also believe that the Law of Attraction plays a huge part in our lives. While some of you might think it's just Mumbo Jumbo, I firmly believe that if you put your effort into thinking positively about what it is you really want out of life rather than concentrating on all the negative stuff you don't want, your life can and will be changed for the better.

Sure, there's a pretty good chance that a naked Genie isn't gonna pop out of a Lamp any time soon but that's not to say that some good things aren't bound to come your way. Along with good thoughts, some form of action is also required to make any positive changes in your life but the combination of those two can and will pay huge dividends in your future.



Why not give it a shot? After all, what have you really got to lose anyway? I can't think of anyone that couldn't use a bit more good stuff happening in their lives. Even the wealthiest people on earth want more out of life. That's what keeps them motivated, driven to succeed. They all have a why that drives them to do more, to be more, to live more.


Attraction is also a huge force in our relationships, those that we've been in, are currently in and those that we would like to be in. After all, what else motivates us to even think about risking our most precious resource, our hearts, in such a way? If we aren't attracted to someone, why take a chance on having our hearts stepped on, mangled and thrown away like a worthless piece of nothing? Way too risky, wouldn't you agree?



And knowing this all too well, Match just happens to throw some bait our way, telling us "It's ok to look", knowing damn well that we're gonna look! And once we look, we're pretty much screwed at that point. That's when good ol' attraction kicks in and we see someone we want to know better. And then it's on!


All the inner turmoil begins, the angst, the anxiety, all the questions start brewing in our minds and in our hearts. Should we take it to the next level and contact this person? Lay our hearts on the line? What if they reject us? Even worse, what if they don't respond at all? Damn attraction! Gets us every time.

While some people find it's enough for them just to be wanted, to be needed by someone, I myself find that it's even more difficult to find a connection that is mutual. A connection to where both of us feel the same about each other.



While I might not be the greatest catch in the world, I'm surely not the worst either. I mean, have you heard about our overcrowded Prison system? Ok then, there's gotta be someone in there that's not as dateable as I am. HA!

And so I feel that it's my decision as to whom I choose to pursue. I truly believe that attraction HAS to be mutual. I think deep down inside we all want someone to desire us and want to be with us as much as we want to be with them. Nothing wrong with that at all.


And I also believe that attraction can't be manufactured, either it's there or it isn't but it it's not up to us to decide. Like happiness, it's an inside job and so the Universe is just gonna have to take care of it.



Whether we want to admit it or not, I truly believe that the initial spark as it were has to be there right from the start. We all want butterflies and to a certain degree, we can hope that a caterpillar will eventually do its thing and blossom into a wonderful winged creature, fluttering inside our tummies but still there are no guarantees.


No guarantees that we'll ever find that mutual attraction. Does it mean that we should settle for less than we want out of a relationship? Should we just give up? In my opinion, hell no! I think that the minute you settle for less, less than what you want, less than what you deserve, you will always be disappointed.



We all want to be loved, it's only natural and I for one believe that we were never put on this earth to be alone. And it's attraction that will keep us moving forward on our quest, our quest to find our Life Partner, our Soulmate as it were.


So thankfully, attraction is just there, like a built in GPS. A part of our being, part of our Soul, a driving force within us because without it, we'd surely be lost.



If you have any thoughts on attraction that you'd like to share, I'd enjoy hearing about them and if you enjoyed this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.

Has It Been Four Years Already? Time Really DOES Fly

OK, so it took me four years. Four long and sometimes miserable years but I think I finally get it. I finally understand. Understand that I might have actually made a good decision for once in my life. The day I decided to jump on the wagon.

The day finally arrived that I came to my senses and decided to give it all up. Life as I knew it, this life of hell was officially gonna be over. No doubt it's been a long road since then, an extremely long road and what makes it even worse is the fact that I've basically just begun my journey. My Journey To Sobriety.




Filled with all kinds of peaks and valleys. Mountains that would seemingly make Everest envious and lows that would make Death Valley a cool place to hang out in the summer. No doubt a Roller Coaster that isn't meant for the weak and timid. Heck no, only the truly hard core need to buy a ticket for this ride.



Unfortunatley the highs of the mountains weren't actually a good thing. They were neverending uphill stretches where each switchback would fool you into thinkin' that you were almost there, only to find out that just around the bend was another hill twice as steep as the last.

Next thing you know, you've reached a plateau of sorts, seemingly allowing you to relax a bit, perhaps even let your guard down, take it easy for awhile. Short lived, this rest stop turns out to be filled with angst and indecision, not a place you really wanna hang out and so off your go again, off to trudge more unexplored highways and byways.



Both of which can be dangerous. Whether under your feet or in your mind, these Highways To Hell can surely eat you alive, if you let them. And more often than not, the choice isn't yours. Staying busy mentally can be but isn't always a good thing.


Sometimes your mind can start racing so fast that there's no way possible to slow it down. All the woulda coulda shouldas start flyin' through your brain, an endless stream of confusion, hitting you like a machine gone. No way to stop it, you can only sit there and take the self imposed barrage until the bullets run out. For now anyway.



I say for now because you never have any idea when and for how long this will go on. What you do know is it's gonna be a Roller Coaster ride from hell and all you can do is hang on, ride it out, hands tucked under your thighs, doin' your best to stop shakin' and just praying for it to be over. And not a minute too soon.

Eventually it does end but you have no idea for how long. Your first inclination is to do anything possible to stop your mind. To put an end to all this stinkin' thinkin'. To turn it off, to shut it down. At least for a while. Just long enough to stop this train from fallin' off the tracks. But you know how it is. As soon as you tell yourself not to think about something, you're instantly thinking about it....and nothing else.

Even though you continue to say don't, you do. "Get the 'F' outta my head!" you hear yourself scream.... but to no avail. It's still there, like that relentless caged hamster on the wheel, no way to make it stop. Eventually it does though, when you finally pass out from sheer exhaustion.



Of course the opposite of this stressful stretch are the days and nights where time seemingly stands still. Forward one second, backwards two seconds, forward two seconds, backwards three seconds and so on and so on it goes. Like time has basically stopped and all you're doing is drowning in a sea of failure and regret. Yeah, it's a wonderful feeling. NOT!

All you can do is just pray for the day to end so that you can finally go to sleep. Counting every second until darkness takes over the sky and hoping you'll be tired enough to where your mind will finally just give up and you can fall asleep.

Only problem is, your brain never got the Memo and so it continues to twist and turn inside your head with no signs whatsoever of slowing down, let alone stopping. How you ended up with a brain battery stronger than the Energizer Bunny's is a mystery to you but regardless, there's no signs of sleep in your immediate future and so you just lay there and suffer through the Civilian Ridealong.

That's when it dawns on you and you have to ask yourself how in the hell you ever got to sleep before, back in the good ol' days? Back when you were drinkin'. I mean, with all this crap runnin' through your mind, night after night, how did you ever manage to shut it off long enough to finally pass out?



Oh, that's right. That's exactly what I did. I partied 'till I eventually passed out. THAT'S how I was able to sleep. Well, if you could call it sleep anyway. Basically it was more like random hours of various stages of incoherency throughout the night, ending in the horrific buzzing of the alarm clock saying "Wake up, time to get ready for work!"

Head pounding, your first thought is what can I use for an excuse to get outta work this time? But then it dawns on you. If you take a day off work, that would mean less pay and even worse, you'd probably have to work a half day on Saturday which would totally kill your Friday night fun. Besides that, the fact that you couldn't sleep in on Saturday morning would also be a drag.

So get out of bed you must...and you do. After a couple of snooze buttons of course. By this time you're runnin' late, scramblin' to get out the door. As you run down the stairs to get to your car, the dizzy haze kinda kicks in and for a second you have to ask yourself where you parked.



Locating your car(luckily), you're on your way to work and at this point, you're glad you got outta bed and didn't bother makin' up some lie to get out of having to show up. That way you still have an excuse for a time when you REALLY need to get out of goin' to work.

After all, you're not feelin' near as hungover as you thought you would and you know for sure there's gonna be another time when you really feel like crap and HAVE to take the day off. I mean c'mon, it's inevitable, right? Right.

Weird thing is, for some reason you seemed to have felt much better when you first woke up but apparently all this movement you've been doin' all morning has kinda stirred things up again. And not in a good way.



It's not like you recaught that same wonderful buzz you had last night. Oh Hell No! This is like the Evil Twin of last nights festivities. Last night was all fun, full of joy and laughter (at least from what you think you can remember) but today is full of nausea, throbbin' headache and the feelin' that something in your stomach wants to see the light of day all over again.

This is not good at all....and it's only gonna get worse. Worse because you just realized that it's only 8:30 and you still have to get through the entire day. At this point all you can do is concentrate on your lunch break. Maybe a half hour of laying down will save you.



Well, you can hope so anyway. At least it's something else to concentrate on besides the bongos banging around inside your head. Why on earth didn't you bring a bucket 'o aspirin to work with you? Oh yeah, you didn't feel like this when you first woke up. Hmmm, maybe you were still buzzin' after all.

One thing's for sure, it's gonna be a very long day ahead. Why do you continue to do this to yourself? When will you ever learn? Apparently not anytime soon, that's for sure because just about the time you leave work for the day, you're already scowering your wallet to see if you have enough money to stop by the Beach Market on the way home to grab a sixer'.



All the bad feelings that you began your day with, just a distant memory at this point. You were sure that you wouldn't be drinking again for quite some time and yet, here you are mapping out your stops on the drive home. Oh, they better have your brand on the shelf because if for some reason they're sold out, then you're gonna have to do tons more drivin' before you can get your fix.

I can already feel the stress level boiling up as I sit here and type this. And I don't even drink any more! Jeez, how did I ever live that life for as long as I did? All that stress, that misery, daily. No wonder I drank. I guess it was an attempt to make the hell of drinking go away. Talk about a vicious cycle.


Thankfully I'm no longer wobbling down that path. Nope, not me. I'm on a completely different journey now and after 1,463 days (not that I'm counting), one thing's for certain, it's way too late to turn back now.



The cool thing is though, I don't want to turn around and go back to the life I used to live. No friggin' thanks. The best part is that not too long ago I wouldn't have been able to say that but I think I'm finally beginning to realize that stopping all of that ridiculous behavior was actually a smart move.



Maybe when you get to the point that the bright light that continues to shine in your eyes has changed from a Freight Train barreling down on you into ALL the beautiful lights that shine upon the Land Of Opportunity. A place where you can have anything, do anything, be anything you ever wanted, ever dreamed of.


Who'd a thought that the life I was living just four short years ago, a life I lived for many many years is finally changing from memories of misery to an actual learning experience, allowing me to grow from them and to expand my horizons.



Perhaps someday I will be able to look back on all of those years I consider to be time wasted and turn them around into being lessons that I can help others learn from. Wouldn't that be wonderful? To help others avoid a life of misery and regret. That would truly make it all worth it.

And so I'll continue to count the days, the days until I reach Lucky #5, five years in the Total Sobriety Society. I can only imagine how much wisdom I will have gained at that point. Wisdom that I can share with others. Can't wait!



If you find yourself in a similar situation, can relate to this tale in any way, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you liked this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.

Hi Grandma, It's Bryan, I'm Calling To Wish You A Happy Birthday

"Hi Grandma, it's Bryan, I'm calling to say Happy Birthday! Can you believe you're 94 today?" Oh, how I wish I really could make this call but unfortunatley my Grandma is no longer with us. She passed in February of '09 and to be honest, I still cry when I think about her being gone.

Oh, I know it's real and I know she's gone but she was such a huge part of my childhood, my entire life and she holds a very special place in my heart.



Some of the earliest memories I have are of being at Grandma and Grandpas house for the best Thanksgivings ever. She sure knew how to cook a turkey (way before they ever invented the little Red Popper Upper thingy) that's for sure but it was the gravy, that chunky (filled with all kinds of 'innards' as I would come to learn later on) gravy that really made the turkey what it was and the Ambrosia (a fancy way of sayin' Fruit Salad) was just incredible.


No canned Cranberry Sauce for her, no way and it was the same with the Pumpkin Pie, no store bought action there either. The huge table, with it's antique table cloth, fancy plates and real silverware, was covered in numerous marvelous dishes. So many fixins that basically all you could do is eat two bites of each item and then it was time to hit the couch. You were pretty much done for the day.

And that's even if you didn't eat dinner the night before, which I often did to make sure I had room to squeeze in every delectable bite I could of Grandmas Thanksgiving Feast! Then to top it off, we always left with a ton of leftovers so it was a week of turkey sandwiches and fixins, which I enjoyed as much as my Mom did, because she basically got a week off from cooking. No doubt it was a win/win.



We also spent numerous Christmas' with my Grandparents and the word special is an understatement. Oh how they loved Xmas, and so did me and my sister. Grandmas house for any of the Holidays always spelled FUN!

Another stand out for me were all the trips to Disneyland. I was born in Anaheim and we lived just down the street from D~Land. My Grandma took my sister and I more times than I can even count.



As we got older, we were able to cruise around the entire Magic Kingdom on our own, which was super sweet. Grandma would set a time and we'd meet her back at the Pirates of the Caribbean or the Submarine Ride.

I can still remember bein' around 10 or 11 and I was on the hunt for girls that were without their parents and I actually kinda 'hooked up' (in those days that meant we went through the Haunted House together) with a girl (as I look back, she might have been a 'Cougar', as I was into older fourteen year old women back then) and I ended up getting back late to meet my Grandma, who was pretty much on fire at that point! I don't think she swatted me in front of the entire world but I definitely received a stearn lecture of sorts.



She wasn't afraid to take charge of the situation as she definitely had discipline down to a science but she also had the biggest heart when it came to us kids. Now, keep in mind I might be sayin' that last part because I was her favorite, I'm not sure.

But then I'll bet she bought us chocolate covered frozen bananas right after that. That's the kind of Grandma she was, tough but soft. Hmmmm, I wonder if that's where my chocolate addiction first took hold?



As we grew up, she continued to be there for us. Although Thanksgivings and Christmas' weren't really the same after my parents divorced (when I was 14), I still loved my Grandma as much as ever and cherished the times that I did get to see her.

For those that read my previous post (http://www.bryangira.com/life-is-short-dont-put-it-off) on her 93rd Birthday, I won't go into it here but suffice it to say that as time went on, I didn't put forth the effort that I should have in regards to visiting her. And like a ton of bricks, it came crashing down on me when I found out it was too late. My Grandma was diagnosed with Dementia, early Alzheimers, and spent her last years not knowing who I was.

But I don't want this post to turn into a tear fest (any more than it already is) and so I want to continue to focus on what a wonderful, caring, giving, loving woman that she was and as far as I'm concerned, the Best Grandma EVER!


Grandma, I miss you more than you'll ever know....and Happy 94th Birthday!

Love, Bryan

If you've had a similar situation with any of your family members, if you can relate in any way, I'd love to hear about it and if you enjoyed this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.