I MUST Be On "Football Time"

That's the only way I can think of to explain it. Something is definitely wrong, that's for sure. It's not so much my body clock is off, like I have jet lag or something similar to that but more my mental clock is just totally out of whack. It's like I've lost my mind.


It's as if two minutes takes half an hour. If you've ever had a battery operated clock, perhaps you can relate to what I'm talkin' about. As the batteries begin to run out of juice, you'll notice how every few days you seem to have to reset the time as you lose a few minutes each day.



Then finally, you'll notice the second hand, although doing it's damndest to get up the hill just can't seem to make it past the '9' before it falls back down below the eight again. Struggling again, it attempts to get over the hump but no go. Sure enough, new battery time.



I only wish it was that easy for me. I know my clock is off but it's not as cut and dry as a battery replacement. I miss a very special someone and it's totally thrown my clock all outta whack. That's why I say I must be on football time because it's as if two minutes takes a friggin' half an hour to tick by.



Tick......tick......tick......kinda like Chinese Water Torture, bein' strapped down to a bed of nails while one drip at a time, freezin' cold water is drippin' down on my head and I can't seem to move. Nowhere to hide, even if I could move.




I'm sure you know what I mean. A football game is supposedly an hour worth of play time but between all of the BS, the commercials, replays and officializing the damn game takes three hours or more before it's over. And since I'm not a huge football fan, sometimes the three hours can feel like six.



This might be ok if you are a Fan or if you like to spend your afternoon gettin' hammered and yellin' at the TV but again, just not there for me. That's probably one reason why I'm not real big on this new schedule I find myself living with. When two minutes takes a half an hour, you can only imagine how long an entire twenty four hour day takes.




Not to mention the fact that my mind is so preoccupied with the object of my desire that what there was of my so called sleep pattern has pretty much been tossed right out the window. When I actually do get to sleep, I find that I can barely squeeze in a few hours and the BAM, wide awake!



Layin' there, tossin' and turnin', concentrating my hardest on falling back asleep but the more I try not to think about her the more I find myself thinkin' about her. It's like when someone says to you, whatever you do, DON'T think about such and such and sure enough, no matter how hard you try, you can't think about anything but exactly what they told you not to think about.




I believe it's referred to as The Law of Reverse Psychiatry or something close to that anyway. I know it must have some kinda technical term since it's such a common phenomenon.



It's almost like the opposite of A.D.H.D., whereas with A.D.H.D. it's difficult to stay focused on any one thing for any amount of time. With my ailment, I find it extremely difficult to focus on anything BUT one thing. And one thing only.



I don't seem to be able to repair my clock, no matter how much I try. And what's even crazier, I'm not sure I even want to. Well, I wouldn't mind gettin' a bit more sleep but as far as totally clearin' my head altogether, it's just not possible. No way.




I have WAY TOO MANY hopes and dreams to ever forget about her, even if I did want to. Nope, the impact that she's had on me is even more than I can begin to describe, let alone figure out how to put a stop to it.



Kinda like Niagara Falls, my feelings just continue to flow, gushing forth with an enormous force. A force so strong that I have a hard time believin' anything could stop this current of overwhelmingness.



If I had ever been in this position before, perhaps I might have some type of remedy for what ails me but I can honestly say that I've never been in this or anything even close to this situation prior to this so I have no idea how to proceed.



I guess all I can do is continue to ride it out, in hopes that at some point in the near future, things will get back on track and my clock will return to keeping normal time. I know there's only one way for that to happen and to be honest, I think about that very thing happening 24/7. I just can't help it, she's always on my mind.



Until then, I guess I'll continue to be on Football Time!







If you can relate to having something so powerful on your mind that you're not able to turn it off, I'd enjoy hearing about it and if you liked this Post, I'd appreciate it if you'd share it with your friends.